Tuesday 31 July 2012

Uncle

We are having dinner with our dear friend Carmen.  Carmen has spent more time with Legend than any other adult (other than his parents), mostly because she lived with us for a year.  Legend adores her.  He talks about her from time to time, usually in reference to a guitar, skull, or dinosaur, which makes sense if you know Carmen.

At the dinner table...
Legend - "Hi Uncle Carmen."
Me - "Auntie. It's Auntie Carmen. Or just Carmen."
Legend - "No. Not auntie. It's uncle. Uncle Carmen."
Carmen - "I've been called worse."

Cody - "Carmen is a girl so you say auntie. Auntie Carmen."
Legend - "Carmen a girl? Carmen not a girl. Carmen's a boy. Like Legend."
Cody - "This is getting worse. Maybe we should just stop talking..."

Legend - "Carmen girl? Like mommy? Two girls. Uncle Carmen, you have a baby in your belly, like mommy?"
Carmen - "No. No baby."
Legend - "Daddy a boy. Legend a boy. Mommy a girl. Carmen a girl. Two girls."
Me - "Yes."
Legend - "No. Carmen's a boy-girl. Uncle Carmen, you a boy-girl?"
Carmen - "No, I'm a girl. Like mommy."

Me - "Legend. It is Auntie Carmen."
Legend - "Auntie Carmen is a girl?"
Me, relieved and a little exhausted - "Yes."

A few minutes later...
Legend - "Uncle Carmen. You want to go park?"
Carmen - "Sure, Legend. Let's go to the park and play soccer."

Friday 27 July 2012

Teenage Terms

Kayla - "Auntie Kate. Open the drawer."
Me - "Use your manners, Kayla."
Kayla - "Just do it."
Me - "Kayla. Don't speak to me that way. Use your manners."
Kayla  - "You suck."

Wow. She's 2. The teenage years come earlier and earlier. And apparently so should nap time.

Thursday 26 July 2012

Lullaby

I have this little music box that Legend recently discovered. Every time he plays it, he becomes very gentle, calm, and sweet, which is a big contrast to how he is most of the time. I keep it out of reach so that he must ask to play with it.

Legend and Cash are busy roaring at each other and having dinosaur battles.
Legend randomly stops his game - "Mommy. I wanna see singing box.... pleeeeeeease."

I get the box down and all three tots gather around. I wind it up and let Legend open the box to show his friends.

As the music plays, smiles spread across each face.

After a few minutes of swaying gently, discussing how it works, what it is called, and that it is very special indeed, Cash has an idea.

Cash - "This song sing me to sleep when I am a baby. But I am not a baby yet."
Me - "Do you like it, Cash?"
Cash - "I am not a baby now... Legend, let's go get our babies."

Both boys go get baby dolls and Cash grabs one for Kayla too.
They smile sweetly at their babies, rocking them and patting them.

Legend - "Mommy, you baby in your belly. Rock it."
So I hold my belly and sway with them.

Legend then puts his baby up his shirt - "I got a baby in my belly, like Mommy does."
Cash does the same - "I'm going to have a sister."

The boys rock back and forth to the music box, holding their pregnant bellies.

Monday 23 July 2012

Car Songs

After a few rounds of Ants Go Marching and Wheels on the Bus with Mom and Dad, Legend is still in a singing mood.

He continues the marching song.
He whispers - "Six, six, six, six"
Then shouts - "Marcha, marcha, marcha! Boom boom!"
"Six, six, six, six. Marcha! Marcha! Marcha!"
Repeat.

To the tune of I Got a Dollar -
"I got a toy. I got a toy. I got a toy. I gotta toy!"
Repeat.

Pirate song -
"Ar! Ar! Ar ar ar!"
Repeat.

Again to the tune of I Got a Dollar, and my favourite -
"I gotta puke. I gotta puke. I gotta puke. I gotta puke!"
Repeat until arrival at campsite 30 minutes later.

Friends

Legend stands on the shore of the lake watching two older children playing in the water.

The kids laugh, Legend laughs too.
The kids jump and splash, Legend hops and waves his arms.
The kids stop playing and stand in the water to have a conversation.

Legend walks slightly into the water and shouts at them - "Hey friends, whatcha doin'? Talking?"

They pause and look at him for a moment then continue their conversation.

My dear Legend. Social graces are hard learned for some; they will come.
Luckily, Legend is completely oblivious to other children's disapproving stares, exclusive body language, and even mean words. He calls everyone "friend" and believes it.

At least he is happy.

Thursday 19 July 2012

Boo Boo

Cash notices a dark birth mark on my heel.

Cash - "Auntie Kate! Are you okay? You have a big boo boo on your foot."
Me - "Oh no, that doesn't hurt."

Cash - "It's a boo boo, Auntie Kate."
Me - "No really, it doesn't hurt. I've had it a long time."

Cash - "It's a boo boo, Auntie. Boo boos hurt."
Me - "It's not a boo boo Cash. It doesn't hurt."

Cash - "Want me to kiss your boo boo better?"
Me - "...Sure. Thank you."

Declarations

Legend, randomly - "I love you so much, Daddy.  You're so pretty."

Monday 16 July 2012

Where Not to Pee

As we are leaving the beach, Legend announces that he has to pee.

Daddy - "Oh, can you hold it until we get home?"
Legend - "No. I gotta pee on the tree." He juts his hips out toward a nearby tree.
The beach is a bit crowded, but Daddy finds a bush and sets Legend up behind it.
Legend - "No. I can't pee."

So we head to the car.
Legend climbs into his car seat.
He admonishes himself - "Don't pee in car seat."
Me - "That's right. You can pee when we get home in the toilet."

Cody jumps in the driver's seat.
Legend - "Daddy. Don't pee in your pants in the car, Daddy; Mommy will get mad."

Thursday 12 July 2012

Flowers and Kisses

I love getting flowers from my tots. Whenever we go for a walk by the creek, they pick wild flowers for me. I thank them and give them kisses every time. It warms my heart.

Cash finds some white flowers.
Cash - "Here, Auntie. For you."
Me - "Oh thank you Cash!"
He blushes and leans his cheek into my kiss. 

Legend, whiny - "Where white flower? I want a white one! I want it!"
Cash picks another white flower - "Here you go, Legend."
Legend - "Oh thank you, Cash!" 

Legend puckers his lips.
Cash hesitates, starts to lean forward for the kiss, then bolts.
Legend chases after Cash laughing - "I wanna kiss you for flower!"

Wednesday 11 July 2012

An Elaborate Lie

Legend is sitting on a camp chair beside his grandpa.

Grandpa - "What happened to your foot, Legend? You got a scratch."
Legend - "Yeah. Ouch, my foot. It got hurt."
Grandpa - "How did that happen?"

Legend hops off his camp chair to pick up a pine cone.
He holds the pine cone next to his sore foot in demonstration.
Legend - "I step on a porcupine and it poke me. Hurt. Porcupine hurt my foot, step on it. Poke."

Grandpa looks to me, amused but not quite buying it.
Me - "Legend got new sandals that rubbed his foot there."



Tuesday 10 July 2012

Transportation

We are doing a series of lessons on transportation so I take the kids on the bus for a ride.
Cash and Legend have never been on a city bus before. All three are very excited.

We luck out and get a double-decker. We climb to the top, front seats and get settled.

The bus begins to move.
Legend informs me - "Now bus turns into and airplane."


Double the Fun

Cody's brother is in our living room, after having just entertained my kids with me for a while. The kids love him, even Kayla who is usually horribly shy.

Cody comes downstairs from a lucky day of sleeping in and he and his brother start to chat.
Cash peers into the living room.

Cash - "Wow! Two Uncle Codys!"
Me - "One Uncle Cody and one Uncle Darcy."
Cash, really excited - "Nope. Two Uncle Codys!"  He really loves his Uncle Cody.

Monday 9 July 2012

The Penis

Legend is in the bath, looking down at his wee wee.
Legend - "Wee wee. Use to pee."
Me - "That's right."
Legend - "Got a hole in it."
Me - "Yes. That's where the pee comes out."
Legend - "Sometimes it grows bigger." He smiles. Mommy exists the conversation in fits of laughter.
Daddy - "Yes, that happens."
Legend - "Then wee wee gets small." He frowns.
Legend - "Bigger." He smiles.  "Smaller." He frowns.  "Bigger." Smile.  "Smaller." Frown.
Daddy - "Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about it too."

Thursday 5 July 2012

Parenting is Awesome

Legend and I are walking home from a mom and son date to the ice cream store.
Legend is very chatty, perhaps due to the high intake of sugar.

Legend - "Mommy, I am so happy."
Me - "I am glad, sweetie."
Legend - ""You happy, Mommy?"
Me - "Yes, very happy."

Legend - "I love you soooo much."
Me - "I love you too."

Legend - "Look at those flowers!"
Me - "Yes, very pretty."
Legend - "Wait. Gotta smell 'em."
He smells each one in the pot outside a hotel, then kisses his favourites.
Legend - "I give kisses."
Me - "Do flowers like kisses?"
Legend - "Yeah. Flowers like kisses, like a princess. Very beautiful."

Legend - "Wait. Look. A spider web!"
Me - "Cool. Look at all the bugs on it."
Legend - "Kiss it?"
Me - "No. Yucky."
Legend - "Okay, wait. I just wanna..."
He bends down and picks up a tiny twig and throws it on the web."
We cheer when it stays stuck on the web.

Legend - "Mommy. Up please."
Me - "I can't really carry you... do you just want a big hug?"
Legend - "Yeah. A hug."
I walk very slowly as we hug. He rubs my back and whisper tot sweet nothings.
Legend - "I am so proud of you, Mommy."


Tuesday 3 July 2012

Pocket

Legend points to my belly.
"Wow! There's a baby in that mommy belly."
Me - "That's right, honey."

Legend tweaks my belly button.
"I stole your baby!"  As easy as stealing a nose.
Me - "You can't steal my baby that easy. It is inside my belly."

Legend - "Okay Mommy. I give it back."
He sticks his hand in my pocket.
Legend - "There. I put baby back in mommy's pocket. It's safe now."

Sharing

Legend chases Cash, screaming - "My car! My car! My red car!"
Me - "Legend, try asking really nicely for a turn."
Legend stops - "Please I can have car please Cash."
Cash - "Not right now, Legend."
Me - "Cash, you have had a very long turn with the car. Don't you think it would be nice to give Legend a turn too?"
Cash - "Okay Legend, you can have a turn with my red car. But, first I just have to check something."
Legend immediately stops crying.

Cash slowly turns the car over in his hands, spins the wheels, opens and closes the doors and trunk. He takes his time inspecting the toy. Legend waits patiently.

Cash - "Okay Legend. My red car is safe for you now. You can play with it; it is safe now. But, you can only play with it for a minute. I have to put it back in my back pack to take to my home with all my toys there. Don't break it. Be gentle. And don't hide toys, Legend. Okay, Legend. you can have it now. But first I have to see something..."

He turns the car over in his hands again, double checking its safety. Legend still waits patiently.

Cash finally relinquishes the toy car to Legend.
Legend - "Thank you, Cash!"
Me - "Good sharing, Cash. High five!"