Friday, 15 November 2013

Super Powers

Me - "If you were a super hero, what would be your super power?"

Cash - "I would have blow power! I can blow so hard all the things and bad guys fly away and go like this..." He enacts being tossed around be wind.

Legend - "I have fire power! I have fires that shoot out my hands and fire on the bad guys. And I am super strong and fast. I am a brave SUPER FIRE HERO LEGEND!" He begins shooting fire at invisible bad guys.

Kayla - "I have heart-shape-o. I change bad guys' heart into good guy hearts." Smiles coyly.

Me - "I am super-mom. I have duplication powers so I can make lots and lots of me's. One mommy can feed Penny while one mommy plays with you guys, while one mommy fights bad guys."  Sounds handy to me.

Cash - "What is Penny's power?"
Legend - "Penny has the power of EATING!"
Cash - "Yeah! She eats ALL the FOOD and gets enormous!"
Legend - "Just like the Hulk can grow. Penny grows and grows huge and huger and squishes all the bad guys with her huge baby feet and cute huge bum!"  The boys and Penny are now all yelling at each other.
Cash - "Yeah! And she can eat more food and more food and get huger and huger and EAT the bad guys!"

Cash and Legend dissolve into masculine grunts and skinny little flexed muscles.

Kayla, calmly - "Penny's just such a cute baby. Right, Auntie Kate?"
Me - "Right, Kayla."

Friday, 25 October 2013

Dangerous Humans

Legend - "Why do boy cows... bulls... not like humans? They think humans are dangerous. Why?"
Me - "Humans are dangerous. We eat meat. What do you think steak is?"

Legend - "Steak is a cow?"
Me - "Yep."
Legend - "I like eating cows."

Me - "Yeah, me too. But you can see why they think we are dangerous then. We even steal their milk. Cow's milk is what is in the fridge in the jugs."

Legend points at my chest - "Just like there is milk in your jugs."

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Just Like Daddy

Legend - "When I grow and grow up, I am going to be as big as Daddy."
Daddy - "You might even grow taller than Daddy."
Legend - "I want to be as big and grow to the same age as Daddy. And then I will grow my belly."
Daddy - "No, no. You don't want the big belly... trying to lose weight blah blah health blah blah tall etc."

Legend - "Okay well I am going to grow a big beard and over my nose, a moustache, all around and around my whole head."
Me - "Are you going to grow hair on your chest too?"
Legend - "I am going to grow hair on my chest, and then on my back too. And all under, around my wee wee too. Lots of hair."

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

What's in a Name?

The kids often play a silly game in which they pretend to confuse each others' names. They roar with laughter at this, especially if I join in.

Cash - "I'm Legend!"
Kayla - "Haha! You're Cash!"

Legend points at Kayla - "You're Cash."
He points at Cash - "And you're Legend, and I am Kayla!"

Cash - "You're not Kayla!"
Legend swooshes his shaved head from side to side - "Yes I am; can't you see my beautiful hair?"
Uproarious laughter.

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Civic Duty

The arrival of the mail is a big event in my house. When it is pushed through the slot and the kids hear the clack, they race to retrieve it for me.

Cash gets their first this time and Kayla and Legend pout for a moment then continue their play.

Cash hands me the mail.
Me - "Thanks Cash. Oh, my voting card. I guess I need to vote soon."
Cash - "What's vote?"
Me - "Blah country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah."  (Instilling patriotic values and stuff, I'm sure.)
Cash hold up a flyer - "Yeah, well, there is a truck on this one."
Me - "So there is."


Me - "When Daddy gets home, we'll all walk down and vote."
Legend - "What's a vote?"
Me - "Blah country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah." A simplified version from my conversation with Cash earlier. Let's try this again.
Legend - "Okay we vote."

Daddy walks in the door.
Legend races up to him - "Daddy! Mommy says we are going on a boat! Can we go swimming off the boat with Grandpa?"
Me - "AH! No. Vote! Vote!"
Legend - "Boat?"
Daddy - "Vote. Blah country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah. And then we might get some supper after."
Legend - "Please we go to McDonalds after we go to the boat?"

I'm So Hungry

We are walking home from a long morning at the park and Cash starts up the "I'm so hungry" game. We play this game often, usually while walking home to have lunch.

Cash - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!"
Kayla and Legend laugh.
Kayla - "Not a horse!"

Kayla - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a dirty sock!"
Cash and Legend laugh.
Cash - "Ewww! Dirty sock! Gross!"

Legend - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a big house!"
Cash and Kayla laugh.
Kayla - "Not a house!"

Me - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a Penelope!"
Cash - "Don't eat the baby! She is a people!"

Cash - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a hotdog!"
Me - "But that's food."
Cash - "Yeah. Well, I like them."

Sunday, 2 June 2013

What's this for?

Legend is sitting cross-legged wearing only underwear. We are reading a book together.

Legend pulls open the top of his underwear and takes a look at himself.

Legend - "I can see part of my wee wee there."
Me - "Uh-hun. Let's read the book."

Legend pulls open his underwear again - "There is my wee wee."
Me - "Yep. Do you have to go pee?"

Legend pokes his testicles - "And that part helps the wee wee not break off."