Doctors

Sitting in the living room...

Legend - "Mommy, you and Daddy stay here at home. I am going to the doctor. I have a head ache."
Me - "Okay. See you later."

Legend does a lap around the kitchen and comes back.

Me - "Feel better?"
Legend - "No. The doctors can't help me."
Me - "They didn't give you medicine?"

Legend - "They didn't make me better. They just think they're better than me."

To Share

The kids are just finishing lunch and Kayla is enjoying the chocolate bunny crackers her mother packed for her.

Legend - "What's that, Kayla? Mommy, what Kayla has?"

Me - "Those are crackers like your chocolate fish crackers, but they are shaped like bunnies."

Legend - "Kayla, you share with me? Please?"

Kayla is silent while she munches her crackers.

Me - "Kayla doesn't have to share with you. Those are her lunch that her mommy packed for her. If you are still hungry, I can get you something else..."

Legend hops down from his chair and sidles up to Kayla - "Maybe I look at it?"

Kayla holds up a cracker so he can see it.

Me - "Kayla, you may share if you want to, but you don't have to. It's up to you."

Legend smiles and nods encouragingly - "Maybe I smell it?"

Kayla holds the cracker toward Legend so he can smell it.

Legend smiles more broadly and nods at Kayla, clearly expecting her to hand it over now.

Kayla slowly and solemnly places the cracker in her own mouth, eyes wide watching for Legend's reaction.

Legend, simply - "Okay."  He hops back to his own chair, fully accepting Kayla's decision. 

He is full of surprises.

When I Grow Up

Legend, Cody, and I are on our way walking to an appointment with my midwife.

Legend - "Where are we going?"
Me - "We are going to the midwives'."

Legend - "I like midwife."
Me - "You do? You've never met them yet, but I am sure you will like them."

Legend - "I wish I was a midwife."
Cody - "It's a very difficult field for men to break into, I presume."

Pants

Me - "Legend, pick out some pajamas."
Legend digs through and picks a red robot shirt, which I help him to put on.

Me - "Okay, now pick your pajama pants."
Legend leaps away from the pajamas - "No 'cause pants make me nervous."

Gas and Money

We are in the car driving to preschool.

Legend - "Vrrroooom! Vrrroooom! Uh-oh! Stop Mommy! We're running out of gas. We gotta go get gas."
Me - "We put gas in yesterday; we've got lots of gas left."

Legend - "Gotta go to the gas station. Put the hose in and the money goes down, down, down, down, down, down, down the hole, all gone. The money goes down, down the hole. Gone."

Yes. Very perceptive.

Milk

Legend is watching a kids' show about animals.

Legend - "Mommy! That baby cow is drinking from his mommy's bum!"
Me - "He is drinking milk from his mommy's teats. Lot's of animals do that. The mommy makes milk in her body and feeds it to her baby; even humans do that. It is the best food for babies."
Legend - "Only babies? Not boys, like Legend."
Me - "That's right. Only babies."


3 days later...

Legend and I are snuggling on the couch before bed time.
He abruptly jumps off the couch and lifts up his shirt to show his chest.
Legend - "Mommy, don't you want to drink milk from my boobies?"

We're learning.

Big Scary Guy

Legend, Cody and I are at the pool on Thanksgiving Monday, so it is a little busier than normal. We are happily swimming around and around the river run.

A large, bald, bearded, tattooed man and Legend nearly collide.
Cody - "Watch out, Legend."

The man jokes - "Watch out for the big, scary guy!"
Legend is offended - "I'm not a scary guy! I'm a happy guy!"

I don't think the man realized that his own description (large, bald, bearded, and tattooed) easily matches Legend's own completely not scary daddy. Of course Legend wouldn't assume the man was calling himself scary!

New Baby

I got to hold a friend's new baby at a play group this morning.  After a few minutes, Legend noticed me with the baby, abandoned his ride-on car and raced toward me with a big smile on his face.

Legend - "The baby! The baby! I wanna look at it? Please?"
I kneel down to show him the baby.

Legend is beside himself with excitement - "Wow! That baby come out your belly, Mommy?"
Me - "Haha! No, this is my friend's baby. Our baby is still in my belly."
Legend looks at my belly as if to confirm, then looks slightly disappointed - "Oh okay. It looks like your baby."  Honest mistake.

Me - "Our baby will come out soon. 9 more weeks or so."
Legend accepts this and takes off to the climbing equipment.

It is nice to know he is excited for baby's arrival!

Emotions

Legend has been having a rough time with preschool. The problem is that he loves it. He loves it so much that he throws a complete fit every time I pick him up from preschool. He refuses to put on his shoes. He will not use his own feet to exit the building. He bawls and screams. It is horribly embarrassing, but I just have to keep telling myself that I am only responsible for what I do.

I brought him a sucker one day to bribe him to leave nicely. It mostly worked, but I felt like such a cheater/failure and even more embarrassed that I had to use candy to get my kid to cooperate, so I only did that once.

Last time, I brought Bear.
Bear is Legend's very special bedtime bear that rarely leaves the house except on over-night trips.
I thought it would bring him some much needed comfort during the transition.


Teacher calls Legend out from the circle time room for pick up - "Legend, your mommy is here."
Legend yells happily - "Mommy!" But he sure doesn't give me that greeting in the coat room.

He comes out the door and looks at me. I can see a flood of emotions spread across his face, but like rolling a weighted die, he inevitably lands on Miserably Defiant.
I feel my own face, and spirits, drop. "Legend, look who came to see you." I hold Bear out to him hopefully.
Legend looks confused, then happy, then furious.
He grabs bear and chucks him across the room.

Plan B - Let's try quick and dirty
I scoop Legend out of the doorway and plunk him on the bench to get his shoes on as fast as I can. He surprisingly doesn't cry like every time before. He is too worried about Bear.

Legend - "My bear! Oh no! He's over on the floor."
Me - "Okay, well go get him."
Legend hops down and runs to grab bear. He comes straight back to me and proceeds to punch, bite, and rip at Bear. Then he looks at me, likely expecting some negative reaction.
I keep my face expressionless.
He hugs Bear tight.

Legend, for the first time, willingly leaves preschool on his own two feet.
He is very quiet as I buckle him in his car seat.

As I drive away, he puts his little hand longingly on his window and cries - "My preschool! My preschool!"

And I count that as a huge success. Yikes.

Suspicious Yeehaw

Legend likes his privacy when he uses the toilet. After a few minutes I hear a suspicious noise from the bathroom.

Legend yells - "Yeehaw!"
This is not a normal bathroom exclamation, so I investigate.

I find Legend, pants down, dancing in a circle, waving one arm above his head like he is about to rope a steer, repeatedly yelling "yeehaw", with the removable children's toilet seat on his head, the perfect cowboy hat apparently.

I grab the seat and toss it away. "Yuck, Legend. That seat is for the toilet, not your head! Gross!"
Legend - "It got poop on it?"
Me - "Boys and girls sit on it when they go potty. It is not a toy. Yucky. Yucky."

Legend's brow scrunches and his lip quivers.
I try to back-pedal a bit - "It's okay, honey. I'm not mad. We just can't play with the toilet seat."

Legend bawls - "My HAT! My cowboy HAT!"

Shy

Legend had his first day of preschool today. I made a very big deal out of it. Nice new outfit and hat, lunch kit, back pack, and lots of photos. We have been talking about how to behave there and how to make friends for a few weeks now.

Me - "Legend, how are you going to be at preschool? Are you going to be....mean?"
Legend smiles - "No. I'm going to be gentle, kind, quiet, and happy. No roaring at friends."
Me - "That's right! And how will you make friends?"
Legend - "Hi! I'm Legend. Want to play with me?"
Me - "Perfect! You're ready for preschool!"
A little bit of social coaching never hurts.

We finally get in the car this morning, with plenty of anticipation.
Legend grows very quiet in the back seat.
Me - "What's wrong, Legend?"
Legend - "I'm too shy for preschool. I'm too shy."
Me - "Really? I don't think you've ever been shy in your life."
Legend mumbles - "I am too shy."
Me - "Oh. Well, Mommy will be there the whole time today, and Cash, and Kayla too. You are going to have a great time. Don't worry."
Legend - "I'm so shy."

He quietly insists that he is "too shy" the entire 10 minute drive there.

As soon as we pull into the parking lot...
"Mommy! I'm not shy anymore!"

He got over that quickly.

The Important Things

We are at a private ultrasound clinic.


Daddy - "Oh wow! Legend, look! That's our baby!"
Legend, fiddling with a waiting room toy - "Wait a second. First I have to..."

About a minute later Legend runs straight up to the screen, blocking all of our view.
Legend - "Oh. Baby. It's soo cute!"

He always knows just what to say.

.............

The technician announces the baby's sex.


Daddy - "Legend! You're going to have a sister! The baby in Mommy's baby is a girl!"
Legend can tell we are all very excited. He looks at the screen we are all shouting and pointing at.

Legend - "Baby... It's got a head... like me!"

Cheerio

Legend has recently decided that peeing standing up is way better than sitting down. The problem is: Aim.
I had heard that giving little boys a target helps them keep the stream in the right direction.

Legend - "I have to pee!" It always seems to come as an urgent surprise.
So, keeping the aim issue in mind, I grab a Cheerio from the cereal box and plop it into the toilet.

Legend, before I even get a chance to explain - "Oh no!"
Me - "It's okay Legend. See if you can hit it with your pee."
Legend - "That's my cereal! Oh no! Get it out!"
He makes to reach down to fish it out.

Me - "No, no, Legend. I put it there on purpose. See if you can hit it with your pee!"
Legend - "No! It's my cereal. It not go in the potty! No, no."

So, I flush the toilet to get rid of the Cheerio.
Legend, upset - "Oh no! It went down! Get it!"
Me - "No, it's okay. It's gone. Go pee."
Legend, defeated - "My cereal."

He finally pees.
I will never try that again.

Freak Out

Kayla finishes a puzzle all by herself. I usually have to help her a lot; puzzles are really not her forte.
Kayla raises her hands in the air triumphantly - "I did it, Auntie!"
I burst into cheering and clapping.
Uncle Cody sees what the fuss is about and does the same.
Cash and Legend come running.
Cash - "Wow! Good job, Kayla!"
Legend - "You did it!"
Kayla buries her head in her hands and acts coy.

A few minutes later...
Me, calm and quiet - "Kayla, I am so proud of you for doing the puzzle all by yourself."
Kayla - "Don't freak out, Auntie. Don't freak out."

Intense

Cody, in an attempt to encourage good eating at dinner - "You guys are INTENSE!"
Cash - "No. We're not in tents. Tents are only for camping."

Shower

Legend - "Daddy! Wanna play?"

Daddy - "I have to go jump in the shower."

Legend - "Oh no! Don't hurt yourself!"

The Dominion of Kayla

We are piled in the car on our way to Kayla's house for a pool party. What a treat! Everyone is very excited, including me.

Legend wants to reiterate the plan - "Where are we going?"
Me - "We are going to Kayla's house for a pool party."
Cash - "Yay! I love swimming!"
Legend - "Kayla live in Canada."
Me - "That's right. She lives in Canada, just like us."
Legend begins to sing - "Ooooh Canada! Home is Kayla's land. True love!"

I guess if Canada belongs to Kayla, she really is the princess she and the boys make her out to be.

Camping

I am sleeping kind of miserably on a blow-up mattress in a tent. After Legend thrashing in his sleep beside me and repeatedly slapping me in the face half the night. After the cacophony of a murder of crows at that ungodly hour of first light. After having to get up and pee in the dark 5 times. After wind, and dogs, snores, other people's babies, and squeaky mattress, I vaguely feel a small person crawl on top of me.

Legend pats my cheek.
I squint at him.

Legend pops out his soother - "Mommy. I wanna say I love you." And he gives me a big, wet kiss.

The very best thing about sleeping in a tent is waking up to snuggles from my boys. It makes it all worth it.

Fart Jokes

Legend lets one rip after his bath tonight.

Me - "I heard that."
Cody - "Peeeew! Legend, did you fart?"
Legend grins - "I farted."

Me - "Yes. You should say 'excuse me.'"
Legend - "No. Papa and Nana."
Me - "Papa and Nana?"
Legend smiles goofy- "I farted on Papa and Nana."

I can only assume he is talking about a funny fart last time he was with his grandparents... I'm hoping.

Hard Work

Legend and I drop Cody off at work this morning so that I can keep the car for the day.
Legend is a little confused about what we are doing.

Me - "Come on, Legend. We need to get our shoes on now. We have to drive daddy to work."
Legend - "We go in the car? We're going camping."
Me - "No, we're not going camping. We're dropping daddy off at work."
Legend - "No. Daddy stays here."

Shoes are on.
Daddy - "Okay Legend, let's get in the car now."
Legend - "Bye bye, Mommy."
Me - "I'm coming with you. I am going to drive daddy to work."
Legend - "No. We stay here."

We get to Cody's work.
Daddy - "Okay, I'll see you guys later."
Legend - "You going potty, daddy?"
Daddy - "No, I'm going to work."
Legend - "You go potty at work?"
Daddy - "Well, maybe later."
Legend - "Bye bye, daddy. You gotta go potty."
Daddy - "Okay... bye bye."

We get back home.
Legend - "Where's daddy?"
Me - "He had to go to work."
Legend - "We're going camping?"
Me - "Not today. He had to go to work. Remember? Daddy works on a computer. He works really hard."
Legend - "Daddy had to go potty at the computer... I want to watch a show."
Me - "...Okay, let's go watch a show."

Exhaustion

At a BC day celebration today, Legend gets an "unlimited" pass to the bouncy house, truly limited only by his own stamina.

Legend bounces and bounces, slides and climbs, and bounces some more. Eventually, it is clear that he has run out of steam. But, he would be loathe to admit it.

He climbs to the top of the bouncy house slide and stops and just sits for a moment. There is a line forming behind him.

Daddy - "Come on Legend! Your turn!"
Legend's face scruntches as he whines a little, not sure how to get out of having to slide again.

Daddy - "Let's go bud!"
Legend forces himself to slide down, but fakes a foot injury half way down.
Legend - "Ow! I hurt my foot. Have to come out. I'm hurt. Ow!"

The perfect excuse to leave the bouncy house while saving face, and get a ride from Daddy back to the house too.



After Daddy carries Legend all the way up the big hill to my parents' house, he finally puts his son down in the driveway.

Legend stands on the pavement, hangs his head and slumps his shoulders, clearly exhausted.
"Daddy, you're heavy."

Time Out

Legend, Roisin, and I are waiting in the car for Cody to come out of the store with our picnic dinner. We are on our way to the beach.
Legend is getting impatient, whining and fidgeting.
Roisin warns him - "Legend, you're gonna get a time out."
Legend is furious - "No time out! I don't want it!"

Me - "It's okay Legend. Roisin, it is not your job to give Legend a time out. That is Auntie Kate's job. Please don't tell him he is getting a time out. Okay?"
Roisin nods - "Okay, Auntie Kate."

Quiet for three beats.

Roisin - "Legend. You're gonna get a time out."
Legend screams and kicks - "You time out, Roisin! No time out me! Your time out."

I'm pretty sure she just enjoyed making him freak, and she is apparently good at it too.

Arrival

We decide to take a trip to my parents' house for the weekend. After about half an hour of driving, we pull into a restaurant for a quick lunch.

Legend is sure we have gone the wrong way - "We're lost. We lost, Mommy?"

After driving the two hours to my parents' house, Legend is excited to finally see our destination.

We turn into the driveway.
Legend shouts - "I found Grandpa's house! I found it! I found Grandpa's house!"

Did he think we were lost this whole time?

Porcupine Hug

Legend announces - "Hug altogether!"
So, on cue, daddy and I scoop Legend up into a three-way hug, faces close.

Legend - "Ouch! Ouch!"
Daddy - "What? What's wrong?"
Legend points to his daddy's furry face.
Legend - "You got a porcupine on it. Your porcupine hurt my face."

Daddy - "Oh my. Perhaps it's time for a trim..."

Preparations for Brotherhood

Legend and I are having a nice time before bed, snuggling, reading stories, singing lullabies, and chatting.

Me - "Legend, I think you are going to be an awesome big brother."
Legend - "Me? Big brother? I'm not a brother. I'm a boy."
Me - "When this baby comes out, you will be a big brother."
Legend - "Baby coming out?"
Me - "Yes, eventually... when there is snow on the ground."
Legend - "Baby coming out? Get water! Get towels!"

Where on Earth did he learn that?

Uncle

We are having dinner with our dear friend Carmen.  Carmen has spent more time with Legend than any other adult (other than his parents), mostly because she lived with us for a year.  Legend adores her.  He talks about her from time to time, usually in reference to a guitar, skull, or dinosaur, which makes sense if you know Carmen.

At the dinner table...
Legend - "Hi Uncle Carmen."
Me - "Auntie. It's Auntie Carmen. Or just Carmen."
Legend - "No. Not auntie. It's uncle. Uncle Carmen."
Carmen - "I've been called worse."

Cody - "Carmen is a girl so you say auntie. Auntie Carmen."
Legend - "Carmen a girl? Carmen not a girl. Carmen's a boy. Like Legend."
Cody - "This is getting worse. Maybe we should just stop talking..."

Legend - "Carmen girl? Like mommy? Two girls. Uncle Carmen, you have a baby in your belly, like mommy?"
Carmen - "No. No baby."
Legend - "Daddy a boy. Legend a boy. Mommy a girl. Carmen a girl. Two girls."
Me - "Yes."
Legend - "No. Carmen's a boy-girl. Uncle Carmen, you a boy-girl?"
Carmen - "No, I'm a girl. Like mommy."

Me - "Legend. It is Auntie Carmen."
Legend - "Auntie Carmen is a girl?"
Me, relieved and a little exhausted - "Yes."

A few minutes later...
Legend - "Uncle Carmen. You want to go park?"
Carmen - "Sure, Legend. Let's go to the park and play soccer."

Teenage Terms

Kayla - "Auntie Kate. Open the drawer."
Me - "Use your manners, Kayla."
Kayla - "Just do it."
Me - "Kayla. Don't speak to me that way. Use your manners."
Kayla  - "You suck."

Wow. She's 2. The teenage years come earlier and earlier. And apparently so should nap time.

Lullaby

I have this little music box that Legend recently discovered. Every time he plays it, he becomes very gentle, calm, and sweet, which is a big contrast to how he is most of the time. I keep it out of reach so that he must ask to play with it.

Legend and Cash are busy roaring at each other and having dinosaur battles.
Legend randomly stops his game - "Mommy. I wanna see singing box.... pleeeeeeease."

I get the box down and all three tots gather around. I wind it up and let Legend open the box to show his friends.

As the music plays, smiles spread across each face.

After a few minutes of swaying gently, discussing how it works, what it is called, and that it is very special indeed, Cash has an idea.

Cash - "This song sing me to sleep when I am a baby. But I am not a baby yet."
Me - "Do you like it, Cash?"
Cash - "I am not a baby now... Legend, let's go get our babies."

Both boys go get baby dolls and Cash grabs one for Kayla too.
They smile sweetly at their babies, rocking them and patting them.

Legend - "Mommy, you baby in your belly. Rock it."
So I hold my belly and sway with them.

Legend then puts his baby up his shirt - "I got a baby in my belly, like Mommy does."
Cash does the same - "I'm going to have a sister."

The boys rock back and forth to the music box, holding their pregnant bellies.

Car Songs

After a few rounds of Ants Go Marching and Wheels on the Bus with Mom and Dad, Legend is still in a singing mood.

He continues the marching song.
He whispers - "Six, six, six, six"
Then shouts - "Marcha, marcha, marcha! Boom boom!"
"Six, six, six, six. Marcha! Marcha! Marcha!"
Repeat.

To the tune of I Got a Dollar -
"I got a toy. I got a toy. I got a toy. I gotta toy!"
Repeat.

Pirate song -
"Ar! Ar! Ar ar ar!"
Repeat.

Again to the tune of I Got a Dollar, and my favourite -
"I gotta puke. I gotta puke. I gotta puke. I gotta puke!"
Repeat until arrival at campsite 30 minutes later.

Friends

Legend stands on the shore of the lake watching two older children playing in the water.

The kids laugh, Legend laughs too.
The kids jump and splash, Legend hops and waves his arms.
The kids stop playing and stand in the water to have a conversation.

Legend walks slightly into the water and shouts at them - "Hey friends, whatcha doin'? Talking?"

They pause and look at him for a moment then continue their conversation.

My dear Legend. Social graces are hard learned for some; they will come.
Luckily, Legend is completely oblivious to other children's disapproving stares, exclusive body language, and even mean words. He calls everyone "friend" and believes it.

At least he is happy.

Boo Boo

Cash notices a dark birth mark on my heel.

Cash - "Auntie Kate! Are you okay? You have a big boo boo on your foot."
Me - "Oh no, that doesn't hurt."

Cash - "It's a boo boo, Auntie Kate."
Me - "No really, it doesn't hurt. I've had it a long time."

Cash - "It's a boo boo, Auntie. Boo boos hurt."
Me - "It's not a boo boo Cash. It doesn't hurt."

Cash - "Want me to kiss your boo boo better?"
Me - "...Sure. Thank you."

Declarations

Legend, randomly - "I love you so much, Daddy.  You're so pretty."

Where Not to Pee

As we are leaving the beach, Legend announces that he has to pee.

Daddy - "Oh, can you hold it until we get home?"
Legend - "No. I gotta pee on the tree." He juts his hips out toward a nearby tree.
The beach is a bit crowded, but Daddy finds a bush and sets Legend up behind it.
Legend - "No. I can't pee."

So we head to the car.
Legend climbs into his car seat.
He admonishes himself - "Don't pee in car seat."
Me - "That's right. You can pee when we get home in the toilet."

Cody jumps in the driver's seat.
Legend - "Daddy. Don't pee in your pants in the car, Daddy; Mommy will get mad."

Flowers and Kisses

I love getting flowers from my tots. Whenever we go for a walk by the creek, they pick wild flowers for me. I thank them and give them kisses every time. It warms my heart.

Cash finds some white flowers.

Cash - "Here, Auntie. For you."

Me - "Oh thank you Cash!"

He blushes and leans his cheek into my kiss. 

Legend, whiny - "Where white flower? I want a white one! I want it!"

Cash picks another white flower - "Here you go, Legend."

Legend - "Oh thank you, Cash!" 

Legend puckers his lips.

Cash hesitates, starts to lean forward for the kiss, then bolts.

Legend chases after Cash laughing - "I wanna kiss you for flower!"

An Elaborate Lie

Legend is sitting on a camp chair beside his grandpa.

Grandpa - "What happened to your foot, Legend? You got a scratch."
Legend - "Yeah. Ouch, my foot. It got hurt."
Grandpa - "How did that happen?"

Legend hops off his camp chair to pick up a pine cone.
He holds the pine cone next to his sore foot in demonstration.
Legend - "I step on a porcupine and it poke me. Hurt. Porcupine hurt my foot, step on it. Poke."

Grandpa looks to me, amused but not quite buying it.
Me - "Legend got new sandals that rubbed his foot there."

Transportation

We are doing a series of lessons on transportation so I take the kids on the bus for a ride.
Cash and Legend have never been on a city bus before. All three are very excited.

We luck out and get a double-decker. We climb to the top, front seats and get settled.

The bus begins to move.
Legend informs me - "Now bus turns into and airplane."

Double the Fun

Cody's brother is in our living room, after having just entertained my kids with me for a while. The kids love him, even Kayla who is usually horribly shy.

Cody comes downstairs from a lucky day of sleeping in and he and his brother start to chat.
Cash peers into the living room.

Cash - "Wow! Two Uncle Codys!"
Me - "One Uncle Cody and one Uncle Darcy."
Cash, really excited - "Nope. Two Uncle Codys!"  He really loves his Uncle Cody.

The Penis

Legend is in the bath, looking down at his wee wee.
Legend - "Wee wee. Use to pee."
Me - "That's right."
Legend - "Got a hole in it."
Me - "Yes. That's where the pee comes out."
Legend - "Sometimes it grows bigger." He smiles. Mommy exists the conversation in fits of laughter.
Daddy - "Yes, that happens."
Legend - "Then wee wee gets small." He frowns.
Legend - "Bigger." He smiles.  "Smaller." He frowns.  "Bigger." Smile.  "Smaller." Frown.
Daddy - "Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about it too."

Parenting is Awesome

Legend and I are walking home from a mom and son date to the ice cream store.
Legend is very chatty, perhaps due to the high intake of sugar.

Legend - "Mommy, I am so happy."
Me - "I am glad, sweetie."
Legend - ""You happy, Mommy?"
Me - "Yes, very happy."

Legend - "I love you soooo much."
Me - "I love you too."

Legend - "Look at those flowers!"
Me - "Yes, very pretty."
Legend - "Wait. Gotta smell 'em."
He smells each one in the pot outside a hotel, then kisses his favourites.
Legend - "I give kisses."
Me - "Do flowers like kisses?"
Legend - "Yeah. Flowers like kisses, like a princess. Very beautiful."

Legend - "Wait. Look. A spider web!"
Me - "Cool. Look at all the bugs on it."
Legend - "Kiss it?"
Me - "No. Yucky."
Legend - "Okay, wait. I just wanna..."
He bends down and picks up a tiny twig and throws it on the web."
We cheer when it stays stuck on the web.

Legend - "Mommy. Up please."
Me - "I can't really carry you... do you just want a big hug?"
Legend - "Yeah. A hug."
I walk very slowly as we hug. He rubs my back and whisper tot sweet nothings.
Legend - "I am so proud of you, Mommy."

Pocket

Legend points to my belly.
"Wow! There's a baby in that mommy belly."
Me - "That's right, honey."

Legend tweaks my belly button.
"I stole your baby!"  As easy as stealing a nose.
Me - "You can't steal my baby that easy. It is inside my belly."

Legend - "Okay Mommy. I give it back."
He sticks his hand in my pocket.
Legend - "There. I put baby back in mommy's pocket. It's safe now."

Sharing

Legend chases Cash, screaming - "My car! My car! My red car!"
Me - "Legend, try asking really nicely for a turn."
Legend stops - "Please I can have car please Cash."
Cash - "Not right now, Legend."
Me - "Cash, you have had a very long turn with the car. Don't you think it would be nice to give Legend a turn too?"
Cash - "Okay Legend, you can have a turn with my red car. But, first I just have to check something."
Legend immediately stops crying.

Cash slowly turns the car over in his hands, spins the wheels, opens and closes the doors and trunk. He takes his time inspecting the toy. Legend waits patiently.

Cash - "Okay Legend. My red car is safe for you now. You can play with it; it is safe now. But, you can only play with it for a minute. I have to put it back in my back pack to take to my home with all my toys there. Don't break it. Be gentle. And don't hide toys, Legend. Okay, Legend. you can have it now. But first I have to see something..."

He turns the car over in his hands again, double checking its safety. Legend still waits patiently.

Cash finally relinquishes the toy car to Legend.
Legend - "Thank you, Cash!"
Me - "Good sharing, Cash. High five!"

Declaration of Gender

Legend climbs to the top of a crowded slide.

Legend - "I'm a boy!"
A much older boy, annoyed - "We know you're a boy. Gees."
A girl somewhere between their ages, a natural mediator - "Yeah, we know he's a boy, but he would be a good girl too."

Pretend Too Far

Legend is pretending he is a chicken with baby chicks to take care of.

Legend - "Boc boc. Baby chicks. Hungry? Okay. Here. Tired? Go night-night."

Cash runs over to Legend, grabs at the air near where Legend is playing, and pretends to eat the chicks.
Cash - "Ahhahaha! I eat your baby chicks! You're never gonna get them now!"
He tears of down the hall.

Legend is sincerely distraught.
He chases after Cash, "My chicks! My chicks!"

Cash is too fast for him.
Legend stops chasing, slumps his shoulders, and looks to me pitifully, helplessly.
He cries, "My babies!"

Mrs. Grinch

Legend refuses to get out of the bath. I am tired and annoyed at this nightly battle. After asking, over and over, that he get out of the bath, I finally just grab him and unceremoniously plunk him on the bathroom floor to towel him off.

Legend tries out some fake cries - "Don't grab me!"
They work. Daddy comes to try to smooth things over, as usual.
He picks Legend up and says something soothing.
Me - "You realize he is faking it..."

Cody - "Why are you crying, Legend?"
Legend - "Mommy come grab me out the water."
Cody - "She just wants to read you a story for bed now."
Legend - "Mommy grab Legend out the water. Mommy's a mean one."

Marriage Counselling

I woke up grumpy today, for no apparent reason.  Cody and I mostly grunted in each other's direction while we went about our business.

Legend notices the pervading grump.
He runs up to his daddy - "Daddy! I love you so much!"
Cody smiles his first smile of the day - "I love you too, Legend."

Legend then runs to me and grabs my leg, pulling me toward Cody.
Legend - "Altogether. Kisses!"

Legend compels us to have a family snuggle and 3-way smooch.
Our moods are changed drastically. The Grump is broken.


Thanks, Legend. 

Piano

Cash drops his play-do on the floor.

Cash - "Auntie, I dropped my play-do."
Me - "Okay. Why don't you go get it then?"
Cash - "You get it."
Me - "No. If you want it, you go get it. You have legs."

Cash takes a moment to look under the table to check.
Cash - "You have legs too, Auntie."
Me - "No. It is your play-do. I don't want it; I'm not going to get it. If you want it, go get it."

Legend jumps off his chair, picks up the play-do and smiles as he hands it to Cash.
Cash, very cross - "Legend! I wanted to get my play-do!"

Pretend

Cash has two cars and has given each one a distinct tone of voice while he plays.

Car 1 - "Mommy. Mommy, I need to talk to you."
Car 2 - "About what?"
Car 1 - "Suckers."
Car 2, annoyed - "No suckers. You're supposed to be in bed."
Car 1, resigned - "Aw. Okay. I'll go to bed now."

He then lays the cars upside down and pretends to snore.
Legend joins in the snoring, just for fun.

How to be Funny

Kayla - "Cash, you are so funny."

Cash - "I am not funny yet. First I have to eat my shoe. Then I am funny."

Hungry Baby

Legend rolls across the floor.

Legend - "Mommy, you try roll."

Me - "No thank you."

Legend - "Don't wanna baby squish?" He remembers my excuse.

Me - "That's right."

Legend - "Baby really hungry in there, in mommy's belly."

Me - "Baby is really hungry?"

Legend - "Yep. Really hungry. Better have a big snack. Crackers?"

He runs to his bowl of crackers sitting on the table from snack time and comes back with one.

He lifts my shirt and sticks the cracker in my belly button.

Legend - "There. Baby likes crackers."

Flowers

We are out for a hike and Kayla is taking note of every kind of wild flower we come across.

Kayla - "I love pretty princess flowers."

Legend, in the lowest voice he can manage - "I like boy flowers."

Kayla - "Princess flowers!"

Legend - "No! Boy flowers!" 

Footwear

Me - "Legend, do you want socks?"
Legend - "No thank-you. I am wearing toes."

The Queen

Legend steals a quarter from my purse.

Legend - "Gold treasure! Mommy, I have it?"
Me - "Okay, but you have to give it back."
Legend - "Gold treasure. Arrrr."

Legend inspects his treasure to find, of course, the picture of an old, wrinkly queen.
Legend - "Mommy, look! It's mommy on my gold treasure. It looks like a mommy. You!"
Me - "Gee thanks."

Partings

Cash's mother has arrived to pick him up. Legend is enthralled in playing with play-do and a little toy grizzly bear. 

Cash yells from the doorway, about to leave - "Legend! Come here! I'm going now!"

Legend yells "Bye-bye!" and keeps playing. 

Cash demands - "Legend! I said come here! I am going now and you have to say bye!"

Legend doesn't respond.

Cash marches over to Legend at the table.

"Legend. Legend. Legend. Legend! Legend! Legend! LEGEND!"

Cash taps, pokes and even jabs his friend.

Legend completely ignores Cash and focuses on his grizzly bear, digging in the "mud." 

Me - "Legend. Please say good-bye to Cash."

Legend, without looking up, and in a very silly voice - "BYE BYE!"

Cash - "Legend! You have to look me in the eyes to say bye! Legend. LEGEND!"

Gender Labels

Legend and Cash stand side by side admiring themselves in the mirror.

Legend - "We look like sisters!"
Cash, offended - "Legend! We are not Sisters! We are boys!"
Legend - "There's a sister in Mommy's belly!"
Me - "Maybe. Do you want a sister or a brother?"
Legend - "I wanna be sister. Big, strong, Legend, boy, sister."
Cash, disappointed in his friend - "Legend. You are a boy."

Just a moment later, Legend wraps a small blanket around himself and goes back to the mirror.
He flits from side to side and smiles demurely at himself.
Legend - "I'm a princess."
Cash, quite annoyed now - "You can't be a princess, Legend. You are a boy!"
Legend - "I'm a pretty princess."
Cash tattles and whines - "Auntie Kate, Legend's not a princess. He's a boy."
Legend - "You are a princess too Cash?"

Cash turns and walks down the hall to play dinosaurs by himself.

Legend, prancing on his tippy toes - "I am a princess."
Me - "And what a beautiful princess you are."

Roll

Legend and Cash are on their bellies rolling down a little hill at the park and giggling.

Legend jumps up from a good roll with a big smile on his face and runs up to me.
Legend - "You try, Mommy! Roll down hill! You try!"
Me - " I can't. I don't want to hurt the baby." I rub my belly to accentuate my excuse.
Legend stretches his hands out toward my belly - "I take baby. You try roll."

He walks up to my belly and pretends to take the baby.
Legend - "You roll. Try it."
Me - "You can't take my baby. It is in my belly."
Legend - "Huh? ... I have your baby! You're never gonna have baby again!"

He runs away across the field.
Cash follows, holding a pretend baby in his hands too.
Kayla follows too - "Boys! You can't steal Auntie Kate's baby!"

They spend the next 10 minutes running to my belly and back across the field, stealing and giving back my baby.

Cool Like That

We are out enjoying the sunshine. Legend doesn't want his hat and Kayla doesn't want her sunglasses, so we trade.

I never see Kayla do it but every time I look directly at her, her hat is on backwards. I repeatedly turn it forwards again.

Finally, me - "Kayla, why is your hat backwards?"
Kayla - "I'm cool like Legend."

Politically Incorrect

Me - "I am going to throw those jeans in the garbage or burn them when you aren't home."
Cody, appalled - "These jeans? Why!"
Me - "They are torn and they don't fit you! You look like a bum!"

Legend raises up in his chair and pats his bottom - "Look! A bum! Legend's bum too!"

Mother's Work

Legend is a mess after enjoying an ice cream cone at the park with Mommy and Daddy.
Daddy begins the work of wiping him clean.

Legend - "Hey. Daddy. You wipe Legend with cloth just like... just like a mommy."

Helmet

Legend watches a Sesame Street episode that teaches about bikes and helmets. Legend thinks the helmet muppet is hilarious.

After the show Legend sneaks up on his oblivious father who is checking something out on his phone, lying on the couch.

Legend gets a sneaky little gleam in his eye just before pouncing on his daddy's head.

Daddy wrestles to get the crazy boy off his head, but Legend is both wiry and determined.

Daddy - "Legend! What are you doing?!"
Legend - "I'm HELMET!"

Anatomy

We are having craft time with foam red monkeys. Legend has glued his monkey to a piece of paper, glued two eyes on its face, and demanded I draw a smile on it.

He is putting a gob of glue on its lower belly as a finishing touch.
Legend - "Monkey's wee wee."
Me - "That's his wee wee? Maybe it is his belly button?"
Legend - "No! BIG WEE WEE!"

I guess he has all the most important parts of anatomy covered: face and genitals. Beautiful.

Honey

We have recently been learning all about bugs. Today, we are learning about bees, wasps, and hornets.

After watching a short video of honeybees in a hive, discussing how bees make honey, tasting a bit of honey, and reading books about honeybees, I feel the kids are ready for a little quiz to see what they have learned.

Me - "What do honeybees use to make their honey?"
Cash - "Canned tuna."

Hungry

Roisin is joining us for dinner. She is sitting at the table, somewhat impatiently, apparently starving. This tiny, skinny, little girl can pack away a surprising amount of food and is always hungry.

Cody puts a plate of steaks in the middls of the table. Roisin's and Legend's plates of food are cooling in the fridge.

Roisin grasps the edge of the plate of stacked meat with her teeny little finger and pulls the whole plate toward herself.
"That mine?"

Man

Roisin, Kayla, Legend and I are dancing in the kitchen. The song playing is a nice light, soft song, and we are pretending to be butterflies as we dance.

Kayla - "Now we dance princesses!"
Roisin - "Princess dance!"
Me - "Okay, nice and elegant. Twirl. Beautiful."

Legend points at Roisin - "That Kayla is named Roisin."
Me - "Do you mean to say that Roisin is a girl like Kayla?"  I think he just realized this fact.
Legend - "Yeah. Roisin girl. Kayla girl. Mommy girl."
Me - "That's right. And where is a boy?" I look around the room, searching for boys.

Legend yells - "I'm a big, strong boy man!"
He immediately beats his chests and stomps around the house, grunting like a gorilla.

Impressive

Legend and Daddy are getting ready to go to the park together. Legend finds Cash's hat and thinks it is really nice.

Legend - "Look Daddy. Look. Cash hat. Cool."
Daddy - "Yeah, that's a nice hat. You can wear it tonight if you want."

Legend traces the design on the front with his fingers.
Legend - "Yeah. That's really friggin' impressive!"

Me - "I blame you, Cody."
Daddy - "Yeah, that's me. Oh my."

Princess

Kayla - "Cash! Come here! I'm a princess!"
Cash runs to Kayla's side.
Kayla - "Legend! Come here! I'm a princess!"
Legend zooms by his friends on his ride-on car on his way "to work."

As Legend approaches, Cash leaps in front of Kayla, arms stretched protectively around her.
Cash - "Legend! You can't touch my princess!"

...


On our travels outside, we come across a ladybug.
I pick up the ladybug and show the kids, Cash and Legend each taking turns to feel it tickle up their arms, while I talk about what ladybugs eat, how many legs they have, and so forth.

I notice that Kayla is remaining a couple steps back from me and my bug.
Me - "Kayla, don't worry. Ladybugs are very safe. It won't bite. Ladybugs are nice. Look how cute it is."
I try to get a little closer to her to give her a better look, hoping that will ease her irrational fear.

Just as I stretch out my arm a little towards Kayla, the ladybug walks to the end of my finger and drops off the cliff.

Kayla screams in absolute terror.

Yep, you're a princess all right. 

Typing

Legend holds his hands above the keyboard on Cody's laptop. He wiggles his fingers without touching the computer.

Me - "What are you doing, Legend?"
Legend - "I'm typing a résumé."

Me - "Did he just say...?"
Cody - "I think so."
Me - "Where...?"
Cody - "No idea."

Honk

Cody is driving me and the boys to our hike and picnic location when another vehicle goes through a red light right in front of us. Cody lays on the horn.

Legend - "Oh! I hear it. MEEEEEEP! Like that."
Cody - "Yeah. They were going the wrong way so I honked at them to say 'watch out!'"

Cash - "Oh. Yeah. My Grandma honks the horn."
Cody - "Does she."
Cash - "Yeah. She goes, 'hey you, get out of my way here!' and my Grandma honks the horn a lot."

Busted.

The Animal Kingdom

Cash holds up a book on beetles from our study of bugs this month - "Look Auntie. This beetle has antlers."
Me - "Kind of. Those are actually part of his mouth. Can you say 'mandibles'?"
Cash - "Mandeebowls... They fight! My girl! My girl!"
Me - "Yes, boy deer fight mostly for girls, but beetles fight mostly for food."
Cash - "Oh."

He considers the picture for a few moments.
Cash - "That beetle is mad. He wants his lunch back. Give me back my lunch!"
He pretends to be a beetle and attacks the wall.

Full

Daddy - "Legend, I'm going to work. Give me kisses."
Legend - "No kisses. I'm full."


Daddy - "Legend, will you help me clean up your toys please?"
Legend - "No thank you. I'm full."


Me - "Legend, would you like your socks on?"
Legend - "No thank you. I'm full."


Me - "Legend, would you like more food to eat?"
Legend - "No thank you. I'm all done."

Whose Belly?

We have gone as a family to view the new baby growing inside my belly.
(Yep! I'm preggers!)

Cody holds Legend's hand as the ultrasound technician describes what we are looking at and we "ooh" and "aah."
Legend is mostly quiet.

The technician ends the show by handing me a towel and telling me where the bathroom is located.
I wipe my belly and stand up off the bed/table.

Legend yells at the technician as she makes her way to the door - "No! Wait!"
She turns to look at him.

Legend lifts his shirt and attempts to climb onto the bed.
Legend, quite upset he is missing his turn - "Wanna see baby in Legend's belly now!"

Counting: Hours and Years

Cody - "What time is Cash here until today?"
Me - "6:30."
Cody - "6:30? Okay."
Cash - "Cash's not 6:30. Cash is 3."

An Introduction to the Mosquito

Legend is enjoying his Grandpa's hot tub when he notices a small bug.

Legend - "Look! A ladybug!"
Me - "That's a mosquito."
Legend - "Ladybug eats other bugs!"
Me - "That's right. But that is not a ladybug; it is a mosquito."
Legend attempts the word, but discards it half way through.

Legend, surprised - "Ah! Mommy! This ladybug bite me!"
Me - "That's not a lady bug. That's a mosquito. They are mean. They bite."
Legend, understanding the difference now, and the need to know the new word - "Ladybug eat bugs... Meskeeta eat... eat... eat... ME!"
He is incredulous.

Grandpa comes outside for a visit.
Legend - "Grandpa! Mosquito eat ME!"
Grandpa - "Yeah. That wasn't very nice."

A few moments later...
Legend - "Grandpa! Mosquito eat my HEAD!"
Grandpa - "Your whole head?"
Legend - "Yeah. Mosquito eat my head."




Note: Sorry for yet another hiatus. We were away for a week and a half visiting my parents.

"________ YOU!"

Me - "Legend, please come get your shoes on now."
He completely ignores me.

Me - "Legend, please come get your shoes on now."
Legend - "No thank you."

Me, more firmly - "Yes please. We are going outside now. Please come get your shoes on."
Legend walks up to me and screams - "NO!"

Me, more than a little annoyed - "Legend. Do not yell at mommy. Come here and put your shoes on right now."

Legend's face turns red as he screams - "BLESS YOU!"

Well, my friend, you will learn more "appropriate" words in time, but I am glad to see you haven't learned them quite yet.

Time. Out.

Mommy's Care

We are at play group, and today we are celebrating mother's day.

Group leader - "Today is a very special day. Today we are focusing on being thankful for our mommies. Our mommies do lots of things for us to take care of us and to love us. What is something your mommy does to take good care of you?"

One little boy leaps up and yells - "My mommy makes me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!"
Everyone laughs.

Group leader - "That's great. Our mommies makes sure we get enough good food to eat. What else do your mommies do to take good care of  you?"
Cash jumps up, inspired - "My mommy takes me to Auntie Kate's!"

Grapes

I put grapes on Legend's lunch plate.

Legend bites one, suspiciously. He has had grapes many times before and has enjoyed them.

Legend - "YyyyyyUCK! It's too gross."

Me - "What is?"

Legend - "Strawberries too gross."

Me - "You mean grapes." I taste one. "They are delicious."

Legend - "Grapes?"

Me - "Yes, grapes."

Legend - "Okay." 

He proceeds to eat them all then ask for more.

Later..

Legend wakes up from his nap bawling his poor little eyes out.

I race up the stairs to his room to find him curled up in his bed crying to himself, eyes closed tight.

Me - "Legend! Legend! What's wrong? Are you okay?"

He looks up at me pitifully - "My grapes! My grapes fall down outside! Dirty! My grapes!"

Boys and Girls

Legend calls for me from his bed this morning - "Mommy! Mommy! Come here. Hurry!"

I drag myself into his bed room, trying to mentally prepare myself for the day.
Legend pats the bed beside him - "Lay down, Mommy. Have a rest."
I gladly snuggle in beside him.
Legend pats my head - "Good boy."

Me - "I'm not a boy. I'm a girl."
Legend - "No. Not a girl. You're a mommy."
Me - "Mommies are girls."

Legend - "Legend big boy."
Me - "Yes, and Daddy is a boy too."

Legend - "Daddy's not a boy. Daddy's a big baby."

Love Cont.

Cash and Legend are playing a rousing game of Hunter. They take turns hunting the other, who is either a wolf or bear, or sometimes they hunt dinosaurs together.

They are convinced there is a T-rex upstairs they must hunt. They creep up the stairs, unaware that I can see them from where I am sitting.

Cash - "What's that noise? It's a Sharp Tooth. Let's get 'em."
Legend - "Ya. I hear dinosaur. Up there."

They reach the landing.
Cash - "It's night time now. We gotta make a tent."
Legend - "Ya. Night night, Cash."
They lie down beside each other on the stairs.

Legend - "Night night. I love you, Cash."
Cash smiles broadly - "I love you too, Legend. I love you too."

I enjoy seeing how they interact when they think I am not watching. Sometimes their love and kindness toward each other surprises me.

How to Make Friends

Cody, Legend, Cash and I are enjoying an evening at the park. We have it all to ourselves for a little while, then a family of three girls arrives, much to my boys' delight. Cash assumes he will instantly have some more friends to play with.

Cash - "Hey look, Legend. Friends."

Legend pays them no mind for the moment, interested more in gravel and dirt than other humans.

Cash charges at one of the girls, a couple years older than him. "Legend! Get her! Get her!"

He puts on his best snarly, mean face and thoroughly expects the girl to squeal (either playfully or in sincere, either will do) and run away like Kayla usually does.

The girl looks at him, unimpressed, and tries her best to ignore him while he stomps around her.

Cash eggs Legend on to join him - "Get her! Get her!"

I walk over and kneel down so that I am eye to eye with Cash. 

I speak quietly so he know it is something just for him to hear, like I am sharing a secret.

"Girls like boys who smile and are nice and kind, not boys who pretend to be mean. She doesn't like your mean talk. If you want to be friends, try saying 'Hi, want to play with me?' Okay?"

Cash looks at me like he finally understands the difference between the sexes. 

He nods gravely - "Okay, Auntie."

Soon he and the girl are playing a great game on the slide. I can't quite figure out the rules or premise, but both are smiling and laughing. 

Crazy

Roisin sits beside me on the bottom stair and smiles up at me.

Legend sprints over to us, yells something incomprehensible, and runs away down the hall, barking like a dog.

Roisin looks back up to me, with a very silly smile - "Legend crazy."
Me - "Yes, yes he is."

And she barks after him.

Go To Sleep

I tuck Legend in his bed, and snuggle up to him to sing him a couple lullabies.

Legend puts his finger in his ear.

I laugh - "Oh, do you not like my singing?"
Legend shakes his head, then nods, then pats the pillow beside his head.
Legend - "Lay down go nigh-night, Mommy."
Me - "No, no sweetie. It's time for you to go to sleep and I will see you in the morning."
Legend shakes his head and pats the pillow again.

Love

I gently wake Legend from his nap.

He opens his eyes, blinks, and smiles sweetly at me.

Legend - "Hi Mommy. I love you too."

Heart melts.

...

Cash and Legend have been playing extremely well together. Legend is feeling the love. 

He puts his hand on Cash's shoulder and bends in to look into his friend's face.

Legend - "I love you, Cash. I love you too."

Cash looks down and away.

Me - "Aw, Cash did you hear Legend?"

Cash nods - "Uh-hun."

Legend tries again - "I love you too, Cash."

Cash turns his head away again, and changes the subject.

Cash, pointing at beads in a flower vase - "What's that?"

Luckily, the rejection doesn't phase Legend and they are off playing happily again in a moment.

Spider

Legend and Cash are very excited to discover a spider hanging out on the corner of their slide outside.

Cash - ``Oh wow! Auntie, look! A spider!``
Legend investigates - ``Oooooh! Scary spider!`` He wiggles his fingers menacingly.
Me - ``Don`t touch it. If you touch it, it will be scared and it might bite you.``
Cash and Legend both nod gravely and Cash takes a half step back.

They follow the spider around the slide for quite a while, pointing and making exclamations.
Legend - ``I like happy spider. He is smiling. Friend.``
Cash - ``Spider lives on our boat (referring to the slide). It`s his house.``

As soon as the kids turn their backs, I squish the spider and wipe away the evidence.

When Cash`s mom arrives, Cash is excited to show her his new pet.
Cash - ``Mommy! Come see! I wanna show you spider.``

But, he can`t find it.

Cash, happy and oblivious - ``Oh, he is hiding now, Mommy.``

I hope they don`t go looking for the spider tomorrow. I am prepared to lie if need be.

Superman!

Legend digs out his Superman baseball hat. He puts it on his head and runs around the house.
"SUPERMAN! To the rescue!"

He stops beside me.
Legend - "Superman, mommy."
Me - "Nice hat, Legend. Oh, you have a booger." And I wipe his nose.
Legend - "BOOGERMAN! Boogerman to the rescue! Nose!"
And off he goes again, arms raised triumphantly.

Best Friends

Cash and Kayla are holding hands as they walk downstairs after waking from theirs naps. Cash has awoken with a happy disposition and is pleased that Kayla is by his side.

Cash - "Best friends!"

Me - "Who is?"

Cash - "Kayla and Cash!"

Kayla giggles.

Me - "That is nice, Cash. What about Legend?"

Cash - "Yeah. But he is sleeping."

Apparently one only retains Best Friend status if one is awake and present. 

Hungry

We are coming home from having supper out and going grocery shopping. Legend ate really well at the restaurant and got a free cookie from the bakery at the grocery store.

Legend pipes up from the back seat of the car - "I'm Hungry! Legend tummy Legend hungry!"
Me - "Really? You ate tons tonight!"
Legend - "I wanna snammidge. I wanna eat it all."
Me - "Well okay then."

Reassurance

We are hiking up to the look-out point on Knox Mountain. Some places have loose rocks that Legend slips a bit on, so we hold his hand to help.

Legend takes his Daddy's hand at a flat part.
Legend - "I got you Daddy. I got you. You're safe. You're safe."

A Vegetable's Lunch

We are at the farmer's market grabbing lunch.

Me - "Legend, what do you want to eat?"
Legend - "Vegetables, dirt, water, SUNSHINE!"
He beams with pride.

Last week, we learned about what plants need to grow.

Don't Pee

Legend is newly potty trained and doing very well with it. I still have to remind him often, and when I do I always ask, "Legend, do you have to go pee?" After a "No thank you" from Legend, I always follow with, "Okay, but don't pee in your pants." He seems to benefit from the admonishment.


We are at the park and Legend tears across sand to me at full speed.
Legend - "Mommy! Don't pee on the swing!"
Me - "That's right..."
Legend - "Don't pee on the slide!"
Me - "Okay..."
Legend - "Don't pee in underwears."
Me - "Legend, do you have to go pee?"
Legend gives a quick nod - "Uh-hun. Hurry!"

Too many warnings, not enough action there. But, we made it.

Impressed

Cash and Legend are munching away at their lunches and being a little goofy, as usual.
I am sitting at the table with them, admittedly spaced right out. I must have looked angry to Cash.

Cash - "Auntie. You are not impressed."
Me - "Huh? No no. I am fine."
Cash - "You are impressed?"
Me - "Well, no. But I only say 'I am not impressed' when someone does something wrong."
Cash considers what I have said - "Okay."

A few moments later, Legend starts yelling about who knows what and waving his arms about, spilling his food.
Me - "Legend! Legend! Stop!"
Cash, excited to have the opportunity to show off what he has learned - "Auntie! You are not impressed."
Me - "That's right, Cash."

The World Series

Legend and I took a walk to a park this evening. There was a little kids' T-ball game going on. After a while of playing on the slide and with a rubber ball, we decided to sit in the grass and watch the game.


We sit down just as a new inning starts.
A parent yells - "You can do it!" And there is a little bit of clapping from the row of dedicated parents.
Legend hears this and leaps to his feet, excited. He runs to the fence and screams - "You do it!"
A few of the moms chuckle.

A little girl manages to punt the ball off the T.
Legend is ecstatic - "Good job! You did it!"
The girl's parents yells - "Way to go, Jamie!"

Another child comes up to bat.
Legend is ready, clutching on to the fence.

The kid hits the T, sending the ball about a foot.
Legend screams and claps vigorously - "Way to go, Jamie! You do it!"


After a while of his exuberant cheering...
Me - "Well Legend, it is getting late. Let's go home."
Legend - "No. I wanna play baseball."

A child after his mother's heart.

Grizzly Bears

Preface: I have recently been teaching the kids about BC animals. The first lesson we did was about bears. Legend still talks about Grizzly bears after weeks of other animals. The only other animal he thinks is as awesome is the owl. The kids learned that Grizzly bears eat fruits, vegetables, deer, and fish. Legend often proudly yells "Grizzly bears eat fish!" at random.


I hear Legend moving around in his room at nap time.
I open the door to check on him.

He is just sitting in a corner of his room, banging his foot against the wall.
He looks up as I enter.

Legend - "Mommy! Grizzly bears eat... bears, they eat... eat... Bears eat the special!"
Me - "The special? Are you sure the don't eat fish?"
Legend - "No. Grizzly bears eat the special."

Me - "You're loopy. Please go back to bed."
Legend nods - "Okay."

Huh?

Kayla is part Indian and is learning Punjabi.  Haan Ji is "yes" in Punjabi, but you may just say "haan" to your peers (not anyone older than you). 

At the lunch table,

Me - "Cash, would you like something else to eat now?"

Cash - "Huh?"

Kayla - "Cash, don't say huh."

Me - "That's right. You should say..."

Kayla interrupts - "Say 'haan ji.' You don't say 'haan.' You say 'haan ji' to Auntie Kate."

Cash looks at Kayla, brows furrowed - "Huh?"

Let's try this again.

Me - "Cash, would you like something else to eat now?"

The Attributes of a Lollipop

We celebrated Cash's third birthday this morning. Each kid got a lollipop in his or her goodie bag. They all sat on top of the sand box together to enjoy their treats.


Later, Cash remembers just how awesome that was.

Cash runs up to me, excited - "I ate a sucker in my mouth, in my belly." He opens is mouth to prove the lollipop is gone.
Me - "That's right. Did you like it?"

He begins hopping up and down - "Sucker is good, and yummy, and good in my mouth aaaaannnnddd......"
He searches his limited vocabulary for a word that can capture just how much he liked it.

"And many wonderful colours everywhere."

I'm pretty sure he dug up a phrase he heard his mom say a few times, either that or the sucker was laced.

Hair

Cody is going bald and deals with it by shaving his head.
Legend got a hair cut the other day.

Legend pets my hair - "Mommy big hair. Legend big hair!"

He turns to Daddy and pats his bald head - "Daddy no want hair now?"

Not quite the case, son.

Manners

Me - *Burp* "Excuse me."
Legend - "Good manners, Mommy."

Vacuum

My floor looks like a pig's trough after lunch time, so I pull out the vacuum for a much needed mid-day cleaning.
After vacuuming, I put the vacuum down on the floor for a minute while I tend to Legend's spaghetti sauce face.

Cash seems to think I have misplaced the vacuum. He stands over it pointing.
Cash - "Here it is, auntie. Here is your back."
Me - "My back?"
Cash, still pointing at the vacuum - "Yeah, auntie. Here is your hairy back."
Me - "I think you mean vacuum."
Cash nods casually - "Yeah. That's right."

The question is: where has he heard the phrase "hairy back" before?

Inappropriate

Kayla looks down her own shirt.

Kayla - "There are nipples on my belly, auntie."
Me - "Yes, I guess there are."
Kayla - "See auntie? I have nice nipples on my belly." She holds open the neck of her shirt so that I can see.
Me - "Uhh... yeah... hey, do you want to read a story with me?"

So inappropriate.

Dice

Legend is playing with his Daddy's dice. He accidentally drops them into his chair and sits on them.

Legend - "I'm pooping dice!"

Lizard

We found a very tiny lizard toy at the park the other day. It has become a prized possession in this house, when it is discovered among all the toys.

Legend is playing with the little lizard at the table but drops it and can't see it.
Legend, a bit frantic - "Lizard! Lizard!"
Cash - "Where is the lizard, Auntie Kate?"
Me - "I don't know. I don't see it either."
Legend, more frantic, verging on tears; it is nearing nap time - "LIZARD!"

Cash - "Did Legend eat the lizard, Auntie Kate?"
Me - "Ha. No. He didn't eat it."
Legend, suddenly grinning - "I eat it! I eat it!"
He opens his mouth to show me it is empty, proof that he has swallowed the lizard.

Me - "Legend, you didn't eat it. You dropped it. Let's find it."
Cash - "Oh no! Legend can't eat the lizard! Oh no!"
Legend is nodding mischievously with his mouth still open - "I eat the lizard."

I finally find the toy lizard and hand it back to Legend.
Cash - "Phew! Legend didn't eat it. Phew! That was close."
Legend holds the toy up in front of his open mouth and looks at me to see if I will allow him to eat it.

This is a strange kind of stubborn.

Do I have to?

I always try to get the kids to go potty just before their parents pick them up so they don't have accidents in the car.

It is just about time for Cash's mom to arrive.
Me - "Cash, your mom will be here very soon. Let's go potty before she gets here."
Cash, reluctantly - "Okay." And he takes his sweet time meandering to the bathroom.

Cash sits on the toilet and successfully tinkles.
Cash, doubtful - "I have to do this?"

Me - "You went pee already. Good job. All done?"
Cash, as he climbs down - "You say I gotta do this? In the potty?"
Me - "Yes. Big girls and boys go pee and poo in the potty, not in a diaper like babies."

Cash raises his eyebrows - "Okay then Auntie. Mommy comes soon so I go pee for you."
Me - "Thank-you Cash."

Ladies and Gentlemen

It is time for a Teddy Bear Tea Party! I have a nice table cloth spread out on the floor, a plate of delicious snacks, and a fine Chine tea set with orange juice all prepared. I set the kids' special teddy bears around the table cloth so that they can join us. The kids watch me, bouncing and pointing, with far too much energy. I do not foresee this ending well, but it is worth a try.

Before I allow them anywhere near the lovely display, I give them the rules.
Me - "Okay everyone, come gather around Auntie. Come to Mommy."
"Look at me. Look at me. I want to see your eyes. Look at me." I finally get their attention.
"We are going to have a picnic with our teddy bears. We must be very calm and gentle." I speak in a low, gentle voice and move slowly.
"Look at me....We must be very careful with the cups. They are very special. Don't drop them. Be very gentle." They nod gravely.
"I want you to sit on your bum beside your bear and be very calm and gentle. Okay?"
They nod very seriously and are now calm and quiet.

Then, to my surprise, we sit and have a lovely time.
I was honestly expecting chaos, broken china, and spilled snack and juice.

Cash - "I would like more juice please, Auntie."

Legend - "Thank you very much, Mommy."

Kayla - "Bear, do you want some pickle too? Here you go."

What happened to my Sharp Tooth dinosaurs of five minutes ago?

Naked

Warning: While the naked method of potty training is super effective, your child may never want to wear pants again.

Episode 1:
Legend is happily sitting on the couch, munching cheerios for breakfast, and watching a cartoon. He is fully clothed for the day.

There is a knock at the door. It is Kayla and her mom.
Legend hears Kayla's voice and he pops off the couch and runs down the hall. "Kayla! Hi!"

He is completely naked.


Episode 2:
I put Legend's clothes on him in the morning.
After a few minutes, Legend - "Ouch. Ouch. Pants off. Don't want pants."
I offer him different pants and he nods and allows me to change his pants.

A few minutes later, he complains about his shirt and pulls it off.
He runs away when I try to put a new shirt on him.
Well, he is a boy, so no shirt is no big deal. It's not worth the fight.

A few minutes later, Legend rips his pants off and tears around the house.
He laughs as he dodges daddy. It is a wonderful naked game.

Awake

Nap time is usually a sure thing for Legend. He plays hard and sleeps hard. Not today.

After an hour and a half of trying to get Legend to have his nap so that we can avoid an evening of over-tired, grumpy tot, I hear a strange scratching noise coming from his room.

When I enter his room, I find Legend literally climbing the wall, or trying to at least. The scratching noise is coming from his fingernails scraping along the wall as he stands on his bed and tries to climb up the wall to reach a picture of an owl.

Legend hears me enter and pauses his scaling efforts - "I'm awake. Legend awake!"
He returns to his mission.

Clearly I have lost this battle.

Whose Bum?

Legend has a very scrawny tushy. He is a tall, skinny boy and the skinniest part of him is his little bum. It is difficult to find pants that fit him because, if they are long enough, they are almost always too wide and slip right off his butt. His pants are even less likely to stay up now that he is out of diapers, making his bum even smaller.


Legend's pants are barely hanging on his hips, threatening to slip off at every move. Legend is even aware of it and holds them up while he walks around.

Me - "Those pants don't fit at all, do they? I think maybe those are Cash's pants; they are slipping right off your little bum."
Legend is offended - "No! That's Legend's bum. Not Cash's bum. I'm pooping in there."
He pats his bottom to punctuate his point.

Hugs

Kayla - "Auntie Kate. I wanna hug Legend."

Legend smiles - "Wanna hug, Kayla?"

They squeeze each other, with big smiles and with chubby cheeks pressed together. 

Cash gets a little jealous - "I wanna hug too!"

He grabs Legend around the waste and Legend giggles and curls into him for the hug. 

Kayla - "I wanna Cash hug too!"

Kayla goes in for a hug and she and Cash sandwich Legend.

Me - "Aw nice hugging! But who's going to hug me?"

All three tots immediately pounce on me with big, sweet smiles, each trying to be the first to get arms around me. 

And Mommy/Aunties Kate's heart grew three sizes that day.

Tired

Cash calls to me after a nice, long nap and I go in to get him out of bed.

Cash - "Auntie come here."
Me - "Here I come. Ready to get up?"
Cash - "I am tired of sleeping, Auntie."
Me - "Good thing you're awake now then."

Cheerios and Dinosaur Tails

Legend and Cash are sitting at the table playing with dinosaurs and munching on a morning snack: dry Cheerios, a toddler favourite.

Legend has lost interest in the cereal until Cash does something amazingly funny (according to Legend).
Cash takes a Cheerio and sticks it on his dinosaur's tail. Then he bites it off of the tail.
Legend squeals with laughter and must try it too. Cash squeals with laughter when he watches Legend.

The boys eat an entire bowl of Cheerios together this way, one by one over about 15 minutes. They run out of cereal before this stops being funny to them.

There is no way Kayla would have allowed this idle silliness to carry on so long if she were here today.

Pay Attention

Daddy and I bundle Legend up and take him out for an evening walk. It is quite chilly out, and dark save for the orange lights along the path, but nice to get some fresh air.

Legend pauses to play with a bush on the path and Cody and I get into a mild argument about whether or not Daylight Savings time is a good thing or not. We are both aware of Legend's location, but neither of us is actually looking at him.

After a few minutes...
Cody - "I suppose, if you have a toddler, spring ahead can be a good... Legend has his socks and boots off..."
Me - "Wha...?"

Legend is sitting on the cold dirt with both mittens off and the boot and sock off of his right foot. He is idly scratching in the dirt with a stick.

Me - "Legend, aren't you cold?" I put all his clothes back on him.
He immediately pulls his boot and sock off again/
Legend - "Don't wanna sock, boot."
Me - "Um. I think it is time to go back to the house."
Cody - "Yeah."

Cute

Legend is watching Sesame Street and a very adorable baby girl is shown talking to Elmo.

Me - "What a cutie!"
Daddy - "She is really cute. Sweetie pie."
Legend - "Baby cute! Cute!"

Daddy - "You're cute too, Legend."
Legend turns to Daddy angrily - "I'm a boy! Legend not cute. Boy!"

Lies

Legend and I are at the park playing with cars in the dirt, making roads and having races. We have been at the park for nearly an hour when the weather starts to turn.

An icy wind makes Legend visibly shiver.

Me - "We should go home now, Legend. It is getting cold."
Legend - "No home. It's warm." He lies.

He shivers again.
Me - "Okay. Time to go home, Legend."
Legend whines - "No. No. It's warm, Mommy. It's warm."

I should write this in his baby book as "First Bold-Faced Lie."

Explanation of all the Nakedness

During the last week, Legend has spent most of his time pants-less. I bought Legend a brand new blue potty and gave it to him just over a week ago. We placed it in the living room near all his toys so that he would see it (and think about it) all the time and would not have to run far when he realizes he has to go. He has done very well, but I am starting to look forward to teaching him to wear pants without having accidents. I have more than met my quota for toddler wiener sightings.

Last night, Cody and I went out on a date and had our very trustworthy and competent 17 year old babysitter come over.


She arrives and greets a half-naked Legend and is surprisingly relaxed about it for a 17 year old.
Cody quickly explains the nakedness, and so does Legend.

Legend runs over to his potty and makes sure he has his babysitter's full attention.
Legend, rambling excitedly and pointing emphatically at his potty - "My present. My potty present. Mommy, daddy, present Legend. Legend potty. Wee wee. I'm pooping in there."

Yep. Thanks Legend. I'm sure she's got the picture now.

A Time to Climb

Cash, Legend and I are at the park. The slide here is pretty difficult to climb up because the first platform is level with the boys' chest and there are no steps.

The boys have managed to climb up in the past, but we haven't been to this park in a really long time. They both try to climb up but can't. I assume the level of the gravel has settled over the winter and that the platform must be a bit more out of reach than it was last time.

Every time the boys want to climb up to the slide, they yell for help and I have to go over and help them swing their legs up. The boys go down the slide at least a dozen times each, with my help every single time.

At the end of our stay...
Me - "One last slide, then it is time to go!" I help them both up.
They slide down together, holding on tight to each other and laughing.

Me - "Okay boys. Please go over to the stroller and climb in."
Cash immediately runs to the stroller because he wants the front seat.
Legend - "NO!"

Legend runs over to the the edge of the first platform to the slide and adeptly climbs up with ease and even grace.

Apparently all Legend needed, rather than aid in swinging his legs up, was just a little more incentive.
A way to defy mommy is always great incentive for Legend.

What does Daddy say?

Kayla, Legend and I are playing the "what does a such-n-such animal say?" game and I have exhausted all the animals I think of that have discernible noises. I am left with rabbit, deer, turtle, and fish in my head.

I decide to make a joke with them instead.
Me - "What does Daddy say?"
Legend looks at Kayla for help, as usual.

Kayla - "Boc boc boc. Wait, no. Daddy says OooOooo EeeeeEeee AaaaAaaa!"
Me - 'Daddy sounds like a monkey?"
Kayla - "Yeah. And Mommy says OooOooo EeeeeEeee AaaaAaaa! And Kayla says OooOooo EeeeeEeee AaaaAaaa too!"

Legend writes Kayla and me off as bonkers and hops away as a frog.
Kayla wins the game.

Friends

Kayla and I are sitting at the table chatting and colouring pictures from the Cars movie.

Kayla - "What are they doing in that picture?"
Me - "Those are all of Lightening's friends. They are happy."

Kayla sets to work colouring, but she only chooses to use one colour this time and doesn't put much effort into this one; it is her sixth picture so she is losing ambition.

Kayla - "There. Done."
Me - "You only used the colour green. They must all be jealous, 'green with envy'."
Kayla is appalled - "They are not jealous! They are friends! Auntie Kate!" She frowns, disappointed in me.

Wow. She knows the word 'jealous' already. I was not expecting that. Impressive.
She also succeeded in making me feel a little bad for assuming all of Lightening's friends are jealous of him.
Man, she is good.

Fast

Legend is a T-Rex and is chasing Cash and Kayla around the house. They victims both scream and giggle and thoroughly enjoy it. Legend always plays the villain.

Cash runs over to a ride-on car.
Cash - "That Legend dinosaur is really fast. I'd better get my car."

Then he zooms off into the kitchen to egg on Legend.

I love the sound of T-Rex roars and toddler screams in the morning.

Cash Returns

Cash had been away on vacation with his Mommy for two whole months and finally returned to us this morning. The greeting at the door was full of excitement and smiles but no hugs, to my disappointment. For some reason, Cash never hugs me when his mom is there.

After about an hour of happy play time, Cash lunges at Legend almost knocking him over. He hugs Legend around the waist, to Legend's delight and surprise.
Cash - "I missed you too, Legend. I missed you too."

A few minutes later, I have a moment wish Cash after helping him wash his hands.
Me, not allowing myself to hope for too much affection in return - "I really missed you, Cash. I am so glad you are back."
Cash looks up into my eyes and just beams. Then he gives me the biggest hug he ever has and my heart nearly explodes from happiness.

Two months is a long time. I am so happy to have him back.

You Did It, Daddy!

This weekend, we instituted a potty training boot camp for Legend which included No More Diapers, cold turkey. And no pants for that matter. Yay naked toddler! It started pretty rough with him hiding behind the kitchen table and peeing on the curtain and waiting until he had a pull-up on for nap time to have a BM. We almost gave up in the middle of the first day, but we decided to stick with it.

We had a turning point in the evening of the first day...

Daddy yells - "I have to go potty! C'mon Legend!"
Legend runs happily to the potty with his Daddy.
Daddy - "Watch me, Legend!"
Then Daddy shows Legend how it's done, including waving "bye-bye" to his pee.
I run into the bathroom and pretend to be very excited - "Did you pee on the potty Daddy?"
Daddy - "I did it! I peed on the potty!"
I break into song, dance, and cheers - "Daddy peed on the potty! Hey! Daddy peed on the potty! Hey! Yay Daddy! Legend, say 'Good Job' to Daddy."
Legend clearly thinks we are crazy (and he is right), but he loves it - "Yay Daddy! You did it!"

And then the turning point...
Legend - "Watch me!"
He climbs on the potty and manages a little tinkle and Daddy and Mommy break out with crazy cheering, singing, and dancing.

The trouble is trying to pull out that excitement every time. It is actually really difficult to be that excited when he tinkles. Seriously.

Cookie Monster

I am sitting on the couch discussing hair accessories with Kayla when Legend starts stomping toward me with his arms stretched out menacingly.

Legend, in his best monster voice - "COOKIES!"
He has a mischievous gleam in his eye as he approaches.

Legend - "COOKIES!"
Kayla and I pretend to be afraid and cling to each other.
Me - "Oh no! Here he comes!"

Legend reaches me and pretends to eat my knees like Cookie Monster devouring cookies.
Me - "I'm not a cookie! I'm not a cookie!"

Legend pauses and looks up at me.
Legend, in a goofy monster voice - "SORRY! SORRY!"
He stomps down the hall, monster-apologizing all the way to the front door.

Me - "Phew. We're safe, Kayla."
Legend-cookie-monster stomps toward us again - "COOKIES!"

Kayla - "Legend is the Cookie Monster! He is so silly. I love Legend."
My thoughts exactly.

A Tearful Departure

The babysitter is here for the evening and Cody and I are headed out for a few hours. Legend is quite sleepy this evening and is lounging on the couch. I go give him a kiss then head out the door.

Cody and I walk out the door and, just as I start to close it, Legend screams and runs down the hallway toward me. 

I think, for a moment, that he is sad to see me leave and prepare for a difficult departure. 

Instead, he pulls the door out of my hands so that he can be the one to close it.

He yells - "Bye bye!" And happily pushes the door closed.

I should have known; closing the door is kind of his thing. He always insists on doing it when people leave. And, really, he very rarely makes a fuss about me leaving. It would be nice once in a while. 

Not My Snack

Legend is playing with play-do and eating a granola bar at the same time, a risky mix apparently. He finishes his granola bar but doesn't seem to notice and continues playing.

Then he picks up a piece of play-do with the hand that used to be holding a granola bar and pops the play-do into his mouth.

He chews for a moment then looks up at me disgusted, wines a little, and sticks out his tongue. He is not at all pleased, but doesn't seem sure about what just happened.

Legend - "Granola bar gone?"
Me, through uncontrollable giggles at my son's misfortune - "Yes, it's all gone. Try not to eat the play-do. Yuck."

He looks at me like I am crazy then gives me a crooked smile.
Legend - "More snack pleeeeease."

Not Her Forte

Kayla is very good at many things. She has an amazing vocabulary and sentence structure for her age, well above average. She can count, sing the alphabet, and name any colour.

She is atrocious at doing puzzles.


Legend and Kayla decide they want to do the big dinosaur floor puzzle together. We dump it out, circle around, and Legend sets to work, needing only the occasional suggestion to keep him on track; this is what he is good at.

Kayla picks up a puzzle piece and stares at the mess of pieces in front of her.
Me, handing her a piece that fits in an open spot directly in front of her - "Try this piece."

She holds that piece blankly for a while.
Me, pointing to the correct spot - "Try putting it there, Kayla."

She holds the piece close to the right spot, but does not ever actually put it in.
Kayla - "I can't do it."
Me - "Yes you can. I will help you."

I show her exactly how to put the piece in and hand it back to her.
She starts turning it the wrong way.

I show her again.
She puts it roughly on the right spot but can't make it fit.

I hold the back of piece behind her hands and try to guide the piece into the right spot. This is more difficult than it sounds because she actually resists me a little.

I finally put the piece in the right spot, with her fingers barely touching it.
Kayla, proudly - "I did it!"

Glasses or Underwear?

Kayla - "My mommy break her glasses."
Me - "Oh, that's not good."
Kayla - "She break her glasses and she can't see in the kitchen."
Me - "But she got new ones, right?"
Kayla - "Yeah. She got red ones."
Me - "Red ones?"
Kayla - "No. Black ones."
Me - "Did you help pick them out?"
Kayla - "Yep. They are nice. But my mommy can't see with no glasses."
Me - "That's right. She has to wear glasses to see."
Kayla - "I don't have glasses. I have to wear underwear and I can see."

Glad we got that straightened out.

Which Bear?

Legend and Kayla sit looking at a picture of two polar bears.

Kayla points to one of the bears - "That baby bear."
Legend - "That daddy bear."
Kayla - "No. That baby bear."
Legend - "That baby bear?"

Kayla - "Yeah. And that mommy bear." She points to the second bear.
Legend - "That mommy bear?"
Kayla - "Yeah and that bear is dying."

Me - "What did you say, Kayla?"
Kayla smiles mischievously - "That mommy bear."

Pink Dragon's Surgery

Legend's pink dragon had a tear along the seam on its back and was losing stuffing.

Legend brings his precious dragon to me with fluff in his outstretched hand.
Legend, concerned - "Pink dragon broken. Fix it, mommy?"

So I get out a needle and thread and set to work.
Legend sits beside me at the table, holding his dragon's hand and making soothing noises.

Me - "Does that hurt dragon? Are you okay?"
Legend - "It's okay, dragon." He strokes his dragon's head and kisses his hand.

It takes me a while to sew it up because I am mostly inept at this. I can do a button or a rip on a seam, but that is about it. Legend never leaves his dragon's side.

When I am finished, I gingerly stand the dragon up.
Me - "Look, Legend! He's fixed. All better!"

Legend takes one look at his dragon, fixed after months of being ripped, and completely freaks out.
He throws the dragon on the floor and bawls.
"No dragon! No fix it!"

Well, I am at a loss.

Cow

Legend is putting together a puzzle of a farm scene. He constructs the cow.

Legend - "Yucky!"
Me - "What's yucky?"

He points to the cow's udder.
Legend - "Yucky. Cow's bum."

Be Mine

Cody and Legend come in the front door. Legend has a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a card in the other. He sprints down the hallway to me with a huge smile, yelling, and flowers flailing. "Mommy! Mommy!"

Legend pushes the flowers into my face.
"Smell! Mommy! Smell flowers. Present mommy!"
I take the flowers and give him a hug. He puckers up for a kiss too.

Then he holds up my card, rips into it, and hands me the torn up envelope while he marvels at the cutesy bunnies on my valentine. 

Embrace

We are out for a walk by the creek behind our property. We come here often; it is a lovely little piece of green space. 

We are headed across the field to look for ducks in the creek. When we get close, we spot Roisin and her daddy on the other side of the creek. 

Roisin and Legend yell and try to stretch across the creek to reach each other. Roisin's daddy and I wave.

Then Legend and Roisin both take off toward the bridge.

They run as fast as their little legs can carry them, meet at middle of the bridge, and embrace like there is no tomorrow.

It was like Gone With the Wind or something. 

Fire Building

Legend and Grampa decide to make a fire in the hearth together.

The two friends go outside to get firewood, but Grampa ends up towing Legend around on a sled for a while first. Grampa then loads himself up with firewood.
Grampa - "Want to help me pack wood, Legend?"
Legend - "Nope."
Grampa - "Oh, okay then." And in they finally come to build their fire.

Grampa crumples newspaper and begins to put kindling down in the hearth. Legend helps by handing him the pieces.
Legend - "Small. Too small. Want big." He tries to lift a larger piece of wood.
Grampa, ready for the larger pieces now, helps him out.

They put the last piece of wood down and Legend begins to close the glass door.
Legend - "Close the door."
Grampa chuckles and pushes the door back - "No. We don't close the door. We don't even have fire yet."
Legend - "Fire yet? Close the door?"
Grampa lights a match and begins to light the paper and kindling - "See? We need some fire. Don't blow on it yet."
Legend - "Blow?"
Grampa - "No, not yet!"

Grampa - "Okay, help me blow on it, Legend."
Legend blows on the flames for a moment. Then he bends to look Grampa in the face.
Legend - "Blow Grampa? Blow?"
Grampa obliges. Legend reaches up and rubs his Grampa's back.

Grandfather and grandson kneel in front of their fire in quiet companionship... while I try to snap as many photos as possible to capture the moment. It's okay; I'm not even noticed.

Home

Kayla stayed for dinner last night for the first time ever.

We sit down to chicken, broccoli and fancy bread and Kayla digs in happily.  After a few minutes she looks up at me.

Kayla - "I go home with my Mommy and Daddy and have supper. Soon?"
Me - "Yes, but you are having dinner here first today and then your auntie is picking you up."
She goes back to eating.

A few minutes later...
Kayla - "I go home with my auntie soon and see my daddy."
Me - "Soon."
She is thankfully not upset, just curious. 

Near the end of the meal, she turns to Legend. She calmly blames him for the change of routine.
Kayla - "I have to go home, Legend."
Legend - "No home!"

Nice and Warm

We are in the car on our way to play group.

Legend - "Chilly! Snow outside!"
Kayla - "Snow's not chilly, Legend. It's nice and warm."
Legend - "Chilly, Kayla?"
Kayla - "Snow's not chilly! It's nice and warm."

Me - "Are you cold, Legend?"
Legend shivers dramatically - "Cold!"
Kayla - "Not cold!"
Me - "Are you warm, Kayla?"
Kayla - "Not warm! Nice and warm."

Me - "You're warm in that nice jacket."
Kayla, annoyed - "Not warm! Nice and warm!"

Legend - "Chilly! Snow!"
Kayla, pretty sure we are being daft - "Snow's not chilly! Nice and warm!"
Me - "Snow is cold, Kayla. Snow is very cold."
Kayla gets the last word in under breath before we park - "Nice and warm."

Sometimes I think she is contrary just for fun.

Monster

Kayla looks up at me with a concerned expression.
She says softly - "There is a monster in my ear."

She tugs at her ear and looks expectantly at me.
Me - "Do you mean there is water in your ear? Does your ear hurt?"
Kayla - "No water. It's a dinosaur in there."

Me - "Oh. Um... I'm sorry to hear that."

What makes a man?

Legend, Cody and I are at the pool getting dressed after a great time swimming. Legend is naked standing on the bench.

Legend looks down at his belly and grins - "Belly button?"
Me, reaching in for a tickle - "I see your belly button!" He giggles.
Legend looks lower - "Wee wee?"
Me - "Yep. That's your wee wee."

Legend turns his head sideways and leans over toward his Daddy who is also naked.
"Wee wee, Daddy?"
Daddy - "Yep. I have one too."
Legend - "BIG WEE WEE!"

Daddy, trying to change the subject - "Thanks. I have a belly button too. Where is your belly button, Legend?"
Legend looks down - "Legend's wee wee."

And then I died laughing and was no help whatsoever.

Sing

We are in the car on the way to play group. Kayla is particularly happy and chatty today. After an in-depth discussion about cleaning her daddy's truck and whether or not it was still dirty, Kayla launches into her own made-up diddy.

Kayla - "La la la! La la la! Spider climbing! Water! Wheels go round! La la la!"
Legend starts bouncing in his seat to Kayla's beat.

Kayla - "Legend! Sing with me! La la la!"
Legend - "Sing with me? Kayla?"
Kayla - "La la la! Sing Legend!"
Legend - "Okay sing."

In unison - "La la la! La la la!"

Not quite in unison - "Wheels! Mommy bus shhhh!"
"Little star up! High! La la la!"
"Round and round!"
"Spider and rain! Fall down!"

And for a finale, Legend shouts - "Zoom zoom blast off!"

Kayla - "Good singing, Legend."
Legend - "Yay! Everybody clap! Good job!"

Old McDonald's Farm

Kayla, Roisin and I are singing Old McDonald's Farm. The girls are really into it; they love to sing and today we have been singing for about half an hour already.

Verse 10:
Me - "Old McDonald had a farm."
In unison - "EIEIO!" The girls are captivated.

Me - "And on that farm he had a..."
Kayla has run out of animals and the girls stare at me a bit blankly.

Me - "Roisin, what kind of animal should we have?"
Roisin - "Animal."

Me - "How about... a chicken!"
The girls - "Chicken!"

Me - "EIEIO. With a.... What does a chicken say?
Roisin - "Cookie!"
Me - "No silly. Chickens don't say cookie. What does a chicken say?"
Roisin - "Cookies?"

Kayla suddenly remembers - "Boc boc!"
The song then disintegrates into "boc"ing until we all yell "EIEIO!"

Crap

Legend, happily - "Crap!"
Me - "What did you say?"
Legend - "Crap."
Me, worried - "...What does that mean?"
Legend - "Everybody crap your hands!" And he begins to clap.

Phew.

Take It!

Legend has two train toys in hand and is chasing Kayla around the house. They are very upset with each other.

Legend, intent on playing trains with Kayla, whether she likes it or not - "Take a train, Kayla! TAKE IT!"
Kayla refuses - "I don't want it! NO!"

Kayla runs down the hall away from Legend.
Legend catches up quickly and thrusts a train toy at her - "Play trains! Take it!"
Kayla screams - "NO THANK YOU!" (At least she uses polite words, but they lose value when screamed).

Kayla tries to hide in my legs, but Legend ends up chasing her around and around me.
Kayla half-screams, half-cries - "I don't want it! Legend! No!"
Me, getting eye-level with my persistent boy - "Legend, she said no thank you."

Legend tosses both trains on the floor and bursts into disappointed tears, dramatically collapsing on the couch to bawl loudly. After a few moments, Legend calms down.

Then Kayla picks up the trains and hands them both to Legend.

Legend runs to me excitedly - "Kayla share! My turn trains now!"

Apparently the memory of a 2 year old resembles that of a goldfish: short and sweet.

Snack and a Show

Legend has a little routine we call "snack and a show." He gets a snack and a 20 minute cartoon before his bath, book, and bed routine every evening. He only gets a limited amount of screen time daily, but he asks for "snack and a show" often; it's like his favourite thing. Who doesn't like to veg?


We are at Chapters for a family outing. Legend loves the train set they have there, Cody and I get to look at books (we are both book nerds), and we all enjoy getting a sweet treat at the Starbucks there too.

We have been in Chapters for far too long and it is time to get Legend home to bed.
Me - "Hey, it's almost 8:00. We need to get home."
Daddy - "Right. Okay, Legend. Time to go home and have a snack and a show."
Legend grasps on to a Snuffleupagus stuffy and screams, "Elephant!"

Daddy - "Say bye-bye elephant. Put it down please. Time to go for a snack and a show."
Legend - "No show! No snack! Elephant!"
Daddy removes the elephant from Legend's grasp and starts to carry our distraught boy to the car.

Daddy - "Want a snack and a show, Legend?" It'll work any minute now.
Legend - "NO SHOW! Trains! Trains! That way!" He points to the train set he had been playing with.

Daddy - "Nope. But, Legend. Do you want a snack and a show?"
Legend - "No show. No home."

Daddy - "Okay. But, do you want a snack and a show?" He is finding this funny, meany.
Legend - "NO show!"

We make it outside and almost to the car.
Legend - "Train! That way! No car! No home!"
Daddy - "Okay Legend. But, do you want a snack and a show."
Legend, losing steam - "No show."

Daddy plunks his boy into the car seat - "Okay, but one last question. Do you want a snack and a show?"
Legend nods - "Uh-hun. Snack and a show. Please."

Big, white, fluffy...dog?

Daddy, Legend and I are out for a walk in the slush and the dark. We meet a woman walking her huge, fluffy, white dog. Legend and Daddy are equally excited to see the beautiful dog and the dog and lady seem happy for the visit too. There is something about people walking their dogs or toddlers; it brings people together.

Daddy - "Wow. Legend, look at the big puppy dog!"

Legend - "Wow. Wanna pet it?"

The lady happily lets Legend pet her dog, and the dog is even happier. It shakes its curly, fluffy tail.

Legend - "Shake a tail! Pet tail, Daddy?" He takes Daddy's hand and makes him pet the tail.

Daddy - "What a beautiful dog. Thanks for letting us pet her."

Lady - "No problem. She loves people."

After a few minutes of pleasant chatter and dog-petting, Legend still has a burning question. 

Legend - "That polar bear? Polar Bear, Mommy?"

I did a little toddler lesson on polar bears and grizzly bears a week or so ago that I was sure was going in one ear and out the other. I guess he pays attention more than I thought, but perhaps my lesson was a bit incomplete if he thinks he can just walk up and pet a polar bear.