Batman vs. Superman

Cash holds up a small Batman toy.

Cash - "Superman! Fly!"
Me - "That's Batman."
Cash - "Batman."
Me - "He has a cape; can he fly?"

Cash, drops the toy - "No, Batman walks."

Very true. I'm impressed he knew the superhero lore that well, though sad I ruined his fun.

You Okay?

Legend likes to play this game in which he pretends a toy falls and hurts itself, then he picks it up, asks if it is okay, and sometimes kisses its bump better. It is one of his more gentle games, a nice contrast to roaring like a monster and chasing Cash and Kayla around the house.


I am changing Legend's diaper.
Legend - "Ouch. Wee wee hurt."
Me - "Oh, sorry Legend. Did I hurt your wee wee?"

Legend looks down at his bits - "Are you okay, wee wee?"

Thinking like a man already.

Risky Business

Taking the tots to play groups is always a risk. Their behaviour can be so unpredictable, especially Legend's. They can seem perfectly happy at home, but as soon as we get to play group, they become tyrants or babies. Or, they can be horrible at home, and the change of scenery brightens their whole day. Or neither, or both.

They keep me on my toes.

Today, Legend is in a great mood, chattering all the way to play group. We arrive and Legend immediately runs to one of the big cars, the most prized toy there. Two children try to get a turn, but he scowls at them and slams the car door shut. He crosses his arms, "Hrrumphs", and puts on the most miserable demeanor possible. He seems to think it entertaining to put on a grump. I take a deep breath and brace myself for a rough morning.

Then this little ginger haired girl, a bit older than Legend, confidently strides up to him in the much-coveted car. She opens the door to the car and Legend slams it shut and gives her his best scowl.

She says something to him, which I can't quite catch in the din of toddler play, but her body language says it all.

The tilts her head sideways, bobs her hip, and returns his scowl with her goofiest smile. Legend hops happily out of the car, lets her in, and politely closes the door for her. "There you go. Thank you. Bye bye!"

For the entire duration of play group thereafter, Legend is the most cheerful he has been at a play group in months.

I wish I knew what she said to him.

Brotherly Love

We are all ready to go to play group this morning, Legend and Kayla in their car seats in the back, and Cash in his car seat in the front passenger side.

Me - "Everybody ready for play group? Let's go!"
Cash - "You ready back there, Legend?"
Legend - "Uh-hun Cash."

Cash - "I love you Legend, back there in the seat."
Legend - "Uh-hun. Thank you Cash in seat."

...As opposed to when they are out of their seats?

Sick

Legend - "I want want want want go park!"
Me - "It's too dark and wet out, Legend. The sun never came out today."

Cash, logically - "Is sun sick?"
Me - "Uhh...Yeah, the sun sick."
Legend, worried - "Sun sick? Oh. Mommy sick?"
Me - "No, mommy isn't sick. Is Legend sick?"
Legend - "Not sick. I'm ok."

Me - "Oh good. Cash, are you sick?"
Cash - "I am not sick; I have pants."

Of course. How silly of me.

Hummers, Jeeps, and Mini-Coops

We take Legend to Toys R Us to go Christmas shopping, and we inevitably find ourselves in the back of the store where they have all of their battery-powered ride-in cars, the really big, awesome ones.  Legend has his pick and crawls into a red mini-coop. Good choice.

He turns the wheel and laughs.
"Vrooom! Beep! Beep!"

To his left is a black Hummer and to his right is a pink Barbie jeep. He points to the Hummer.
"Where's Cash? Cash's truck! Where's Cash?"

He zooms down the road in his carefree little mind for a minute, then notices the pink car.
"Kayla's car truck. Where's Kayla?"

He calls for his friends, as if they might appear from around the corner simply because he wants to play with them.

Me - "You'll see your friends tomorrow, my goose. Let's go this way."
He hops out of the car and happily meanders down the aisle.

Big Mommy

I am holding Legend in my arms on our way to the bath before bed. He snuggles into me.
He suddenly pulls back and squeezes both of my boobs, one in each hand, before I can stop him.

"Big mommy."

Uh... thanks? Let's not "compliment " mommy in public, okay? At least he didn't pat my belly when he said that.

Boyfriend's Sweater

Like a girl curling up in her boyfriend's too-big sweater, Kayla loves it when she gets to wear something of Legend's.  I loaned her a pair of Legend's sweat pants once because she got hers very messy and there were no extras in her bag. She showed up the next day with them still on. She refused to take them off for bed, or to change the next morning.

I put Legend's outgrown boots on her to take her out in the wet grass. She was so excited she happy danced and bounced. "I have Legend's shoes!"  She bawled when I made her take them off when we came inside.

There have been many other articles of clothing. The story is always the same, but I really hope it isn't this time.


I grab one of Kayla's diapers from her bag and ask her to meet me in the bathroom for a change.
She slowly dawdles into the bathroom.
I am in auto-pilot mode as I quickly change her diaper and help her to stand back up. I am just about finished wiggling her cute, chubby thighs into her tights...

Kayla - "Legend's diaper!" She looks down, thrilled that I accidentally grabbed one of Legend's diapers (a different brand, but luckily the same size as hers), and left her diaper sitting on the counter.

Uh-oh.  I hope she lets her mommy take it off later...

A Father and Son Moment

Legend is sitting on his daddy's lap, watching the last few minutes of Land Before Time 2. He loves his dinosaur movies.

Daddy - "Legend, can I tickle you?"
Legend agrees to it - "Uh-hun tickle you."
Giggles ensue.

Daddy - "Legend, can I bite you?"
Legend smiles- "Uh-hun bite you please."
Daddy play bites Legend's belly, and Legend belly laughs uncontrollably.
That is the best noise; it lifts the soul.

Daddy - "Legend, can I tickle you under your arm?"
Legend - "Uh-hun tickle arm."
Both father and son are full of giggles and smiles.

Daddy stops and hugs his boy - "Whew! I love you, Legend."
Legend puckers his lips for a kiss - "Mmmmmwaa."

Legend can be quite accommodating.


I've got it all. My life has its difficult moments: I use up all my daily allotment of patience every day, I get sick more often than the average adult, we sometimes have trouble making ends meet, but I have everything that is important. My family and my work are both amazing to me. I've got it all.

Superman to Supermom

The boys are wearing pillow cases tucked into the top of their shirts, running around the house. They are Supermen! They fly; they fight blue monsters (I don't know why they are always distinctly blue); they are really strong and really fast.

Then Kayla arrives for the day. She comes bearing two baby dolls and a lamb stuffy.

The boys forget their capes and world saving responsibilities, and suddenly become soft, loving parents of new babies.

They rock their babies, sing to them, and put them to bed. They bring them smaller stuffed animals, tuck them in, and kiss their foreheads.

At least the boys are well rounded, and Kayla is too.  After a while of mommy-play, the boys remember their capes, and Kayla places her baby gently on the couch and asks for a cape so she too can save the house from monsters.

Me - "Go Supermen! Go Wonder Woman!"
Legend - "Superman!"
Kayla - "I am Super Kayla."
Cash - "I am Wonder Woman!"

Ok, sure. Why not?

Some Mouse

It is time for an afternoon snack for the tots. Legend and Kayla are munching away on cheerios and orange slices, but Cash is not hungry. He decides to sit at the table with his friends, but he doesn't want a snack.

Kayla - "Don't want cheerios, Cash?"
Cash - "No. I don't want it."
Kayla - "Ok. Want something else?"

Cash, indignant - "I don't want some mouse! That's yucky!"
Kayla - "Something else is yucky? Not hungry?"
Cash, really mad at her now - "No Kayla! Not gonna eat some mouse!"

I guess that theory of the tots being able to understand each other even when I can't is out.

Kiss Crazy

Kayla loves to smooch. When I am holding her, she will often kiss me repeatedly, as many times as I will allow. She gets annoyed that I give her the cheek instead of my lips.

If I am not careful, she'll give me a long, romantic smooch right on the lips. She even holds the back of my head so it is hard to dodge, and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I love all the snuggles and smooches - it makes me feel loved - but sometimes, enough is enough.


I am sitting on the floor, having just changed Kayla's diaper. She stands up, eye to eye with me, perfect position for smooches.

She pulls my face to hers and plants 6 or 7 kisses on my cheeks, as close to my mouth as I will allow. I can't make progress buttoning her pants with her in my face, and I have had quite enough kisses.

As she attempts to pull my face in for a second round...
Me - "Stop. Thank you Kayla. That's enough kisses now."

She does her best to resist for a moment.
I quickly button her pants and make to stand up.

Kayla kisses the air a couple times then yells at me - "Let me KISS YOU!"

No means no, Kayla!

Hang Up

Nana is on the phone and wants to talk to Legend.

Legend lets Daddy put the phone to his ear.
Legend - "Hi Nana! Nanaaaaa! Train. Choo choo. Nana."

Daddy - "Say love you."
Legend - "Love you."
Daddy - "Say see you later."
Legend - "Later."
Daddy - "Say bye bye."
Legend - "Bye bye."
Daddy - "Say love you."

Legend pushes the phone away from his face, looks at it, and presses End perfectly, hanging up the call.

I guess when he says "bye bye", he means it.

Napkin Need

We are at a restaurant and Legend takes too big of a bite of lunch. Ketchup drips off his chin and onto his jacket.

Legend - "Oh no. Dirty."
He and Daddy both search the table for a napkin.

Before Daddy can grab a napkin, Legend finds the packaged sugar container.
He pulls a sugar packet out and dabs at the ketchup.

Legend - "Oh no. Broken."

If anything occurs that in unfavourable to him, Legend says it is broken. It works.

Grumps

Legend is very ill. He woke from a very long nap crying and vomiting. He is lying on the couch in a pitiful daze as we wait for the Tylenol to kick in.

Kayla wakes from her nap in a grump. She sits beside Legend on the couch, glowering at the world and continuously brushing her hair on and off her face.

Cash is last to rise and wakes up from his nap "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed" and ready to play. 

Cash hops across the living room, grabs a toy, and leaps onto the couch between Legend and Kayla.

He plays with his toy happily, so happily that he starts laughing to himself.

Legend pushes Cash away from him with his feet.

Cash wiggles closer to Kayla and keeps laughing.

Kayla scowls and rebukes him - "It's not funny, Cash."

Duet

Legend comes out of the bath with an (unrecognizable) song in his heart. He lies on his towel singing random words.

Legend - "Wa-ter, mommy, lala, stop, lala..."
Me - "Stop! In the name of love! Before you break my heart. Think it Oooooverrr."
Legend - 'Oooooveerrrrr!"

Me - "Yeah! Sing Legend. Stop!"
Legend - "Stop!"
Me - "In the name of love! Say Love, Legend!"
Legend, giggles - "Love."
Me - "Before you break my heart."
Legend puts his hand to his chest - "Heart."
Me - "Think it Ooooovverrrrr."
Legend, with back-up singer hand motions and everything - "Ooooovverrrrr."

Legend - "Wait! lala lalalala."
Me - "No, it's Stop!"
Legend - "Wait! Wait! Stop! Lalalalala..."
Me - "In the name of love."
Legend - "Love."
Me - "Before you break my heart."
Legend - "Heart."
Me - "Think it..."
In unison - "Oooooovverrrrrr." We got it. We're awesome.

Legend, loving it - "Wait! lalala!"
Me - "Not wait. Stop!"
Legend - "Stop!"
...

Pretty sure we would have kicked butt at karaoke, or at least fit in with the drunks.

Flight

Cody received a box from his parents full of old toys from when he was a kid. He gave the age appropriate ones to Legend, which included a Buzz Lightyear action figure from the first Toy Story movie, a toy eagle that balances on your finger tip (or used to before the tots got to it), and a toy car. 

Legend monopolizes the Buzz Ligthyear all day. He has seen the third movie, so he recognizes the character and knows that this guy can fly. He races down the hall and through the kitchen, Buzz held high above his head, and sometimes crashing into the floor.

Legend - "Vrooooom! Up high! Fast! Fall down! Are you ok? UP HIGH!"

Cash grabs the eagle toy.

Cash - "Auntie! Bird flies up high too! Legend! Bird flies too!"

Cash takes off after Legend down the hall, soaring and dipping.

Kayla looks around for a flying toy; she wants in on the game. She doesn't see anything that will work. 

Kayla runs up to me and shows me the car she has been idly carrying around. 

Kayla - "This car flies too, Auntie. This car flies today."

Me - "Yes of course it does! It is a flying car! Go Kayla!"

And my three peas race on together, pausing only to make sure everyone is okay when one of the toys plummets to the floor. 

A Series of Unfortunate Events

None of what you are about to read is funny at all.

The boys know it is a play group day. They have asked six times about it, and also about where Kayla is. I have no idea where Kayla is. She and her mom are so late I start to think that I got mixed up about the schedule and maybe they are not coming. I text Kayla's mom and get the boys and our bags all ready to go in the mean time.

I get an inconclusive text from Kayla's mom about not having very good cell service, but she doesn't answer my question about when to expect Kayla. I decide to get the boys in the car anyway.

I finally get a text saying she will meet us at play group, but we are already 15 minutes late. We head out.

After about 3 minutes of playing nicely, Legend pushes a little boy off of the play structure because he is in his way. Legend gets an immediate time-out. 

I turn around from having a talking-to with Legend, to find Cash with a suspicious smile.

Cash - "Poop."

Me - "You have to go potty? Let's go quick."

He turns around to head to the bathroom and I see that we are already too late. 

Legend is in time-out for about ten minutes because it takes a while to clean up Cash. Surprisingly, Legend stays in the time-out chair the whole time. He is very apologetic when I finally get back to him. 

Legend - "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Mommy. Sorry. Play now?"

I swallow my guilt to try to keep consistent - "Legend, remember no pushing. Be gentle."

Legend - "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

He immediately goes and rips a toy out of another child's hands.

This is just the beginning to the day.

I think, just like how dogs can smell fear, tots can smell stress. They see an advantage in the game and they take it. 

First one to lose their cool loses the game. 

The Sun

I took the boys to the park after nap time today.  It had to be a quick trip because the sun is setting at 4:30 these days and the boys woke up at 3:30. We couldn't waste that sunshine.

The sun dips behind the hills.

Me - "Cash, we have to go home now. It will be dark soon. Can you climb in the stroller please?"
Cash - "Okay Auntie."
Cash climbs obediently into the stroller.
Me - "Great listening, Cash. Thank you!"
Legend witnesses this and begins a tantrum. He doesn't want to leave the park yet; he never will.

Me - "Legend, come here please. It is time to go."
Legend stomps and whines.
Sigh


Me, with feigned astonishment - "Legend! Where is the sun?!"
Legend stops his display and looks up - "Where sun? Gone!"
He puts his hands up and shrugs his shoulders.
Me - "The sun went night-night. He is really sleepy. It is going to get really dark and chilly out soon."
Legend - "Oooh. Chilly." He pretends to shiver.
Me - "Let's go home before it gets too dark and chilly."
Legend nods - "Uh-hun."

To my astonishment, he walks calmly to the stroller and willingly climbs in. I cannot over-estimate my shock that this little story actually worked.

It's proof he is growing older and is able to understand and believe my lies.

The Blame Game

I smell something...

Me - "Legend, did you poop?"
Legend - "No poop."
Cash - "Kayla pooped."

Legend walks around behind Kayla.
Legend - "Bum? Poop? Kayla?"
He bends down and sniffs Kayla's bottom.

Legend nods- "Kayla bum poop. Uh hun."
Kayla, screeches - "NO!"

Poor Kayla, getting blamed for a sneaky toot.

Where does Beef come from?

Cash is looking at a book with pictures of farm animals in it.

Cash - "Look, Auntie. A cow!"
Me - "Yes, a cow."

Cash - "Moooo!"
Me - "That's right, Cash."

Cash points at the cow - "Eat hamburger."
Me - "The cow eats hamburgers?"
Cash - "No. It is hamburger. Yummy."

He's not a farm boy, so I am not sure where his extensive knowledge comes from, but I guess he knows all the important things you need to know about cows now.

The end

I am trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to read my text book for Business Management class.

Legend pushes a toy into my hands - "Play."
Me - "I need to read now, honey."

He wanders off to play for a little while.

Legend appears by my side again and points to my book.
Legend - "Story?"
Me - "Not a very interesting story."
Legend - "Another book?" He fetches his sing-along book, climbs onto the couch beside me and puts the book over mine.

Me - "I have to read this book right now. Why don't you look at your book beside me."
Legend nods- "Uh-hun. Book."

He looks at his book for a few moments.
Legend - "Look! A dog." He pulls on my sleeve.
Me - "Yes, a dog. I am reading about environmental contingencies."

Legend hops off the couch and tosses his book on the floor - "No story."
He toddles off to play with a toy train.

A few moments later, he pulls my book out of my hands and slams it shut.
"The END!"

I guess I can catch up on my school reading later.

Attitude

After a fun time at the pool...

Cody - "Let's put your shirt on, Legend."
Legend waves his arms in self defense - "I don't want shirt. No."

Me - "Legend, sit down so I can put your shoes on please."
Legend - "I don't want down. No shoes."

Me - "Let's put your jacket on, Legend."
Legend - "No. I don't want jacket."

Legend stomps and fusses. He is uncooperative because he doesn't want to leave the pool and now he is getting mad about it.

Me, in my mom voice - "Legend, you need to watch that attitude."
Legend - "I don't want attitude."
Cody - "Me neither."

Use your words

Legend reaches for a toy that is up on the piano, just out of his reach.

Legend whines - "Uh uh uh!"
Me - "Legend, use your words."

Legends nods - "Words!" with the same inflection as 'please'.

Penguins make me happy

Cody, Legend and I are in the mall stopped at a strange toy kiosk. The cashier tells Legend to wait and sets up a bizarre toy that consists of little penguins climbing up stairs and sliding down a slide. The penguins slide to the bottom of the stairs and start climbing again... forever. It is cute but inane. 

Legend stares at the toy for a few moments, transfixed.

Legend - "I am happy."

Well, that was easy. 

Back Seat Driver

On the way to play group today...

Cash - "Red means stop, Auntie."
Me - "That's right, Cash. That's why I am stopped."

The light turns green.
Cash - "Go, Auntie!"
Me - "I know, I am going."

I turn my blinker on.
Cash - "Turn! Turn! Turn now, Auntie."
Me - "Yes, Cash. I am turning."

At another light, the left-turn light turns green, but I plan to go straight.
Cash - "Go, Auntie, Go!"
Me - "Not yet, Cash."
Cash - "Green means go. Go now, Auntie."
My light turns green and I begin to drive.

Cash - "Good Auntie. Green means go."

Reunion

Today is the first day Cash and Legend have seen each other since I got sick 9 days ago.

Me - "Legend, guess who is here!"
Legend squeals - "Cash! Cash!" He runs to the door.

I open the door to find Cash and his mom, Barbara. Legend is so excited he rushes up to them and blocks the door.

Legend, as I pull him backward to let Cash in - "Hi! Hi! Hi Cash! Hi! Hi! I'm Legend. I'm Legend! Hi! Hi!"
Cash stays silent and half-hides behind his mom's leg.

Legend continues, inexhaustibly - "Hi! Cash! I'm Legend! Hi! Hi! Hi!" He shouts and waves in Cash's face.
Me - "Cash, can you please say hi to Legend?"
Cash, quietly - "Hi."

Then off they run into the living room to make up for lost play time.

FYI

Hi everyone. You may have noticed that I am late on some posts. I apologize. I have been, and continue to be, very ill. I caught the real deal Influenza and it has laid me flat. I have therefore not been caring for any tots, not even my own. Legend is spending a few days with his grandparents in hopes that he doesn't catch this plague. I will resume blogging as soon as I am well and have the kids again.

P.S.  GET VACCINATED!