Friday 23 December 2011

Bear

For Christmas, Daddy and I got Legend a new bear to replace his old, ratty, stuffing-less mess of a bear which he has had since birth and is his favourite despite its faults.  It didn't start ratty or stuffing-less.  The new bear looks just like the old bear did when it was a new bear, just a little bigger and softer.

I hopefully present Legend with the bear.
He smiles and then scowls at it and turns his back away.
Legend - "I don't want bear. I want car!" He presses the siren button on the new car Cash gave him.

Me - "Legend, don't you like your bear?"
Legend, scowling - "That's Mommy's bear."

Daddy - "Legend, that's Legend's bear. That's Legend's bear for night-night!"

Legend turns to regard the bear. He slowly takes it from my hands, then unexpectedly clutches it to his chest.
Legend - "Sigh. Legend's night-night bear!"

He is sleeping soundly with bear in his arms as I write. The trade off appears to have worked (knock on wood).

I just wonder why he was scowling at me.  Maybe he thought I was bragging to him about my new bear?

Wednesday 21 December 2011

Presents

Kayla is a very quiet, shy little girl... in public.  At home she is boisterous, out-going, extremely talkative, and confidant to the point of bossy.  She knows a lot of words for her age, but rarely pulls them out for strangers.

She notices new presents under the tree.
Kayla - "My papa's gonna give me those presents."
Me - "Oh really?"
Kayla - "Yeah. And Santa's gonna come on Christmas."
Me - "Are you excited for Christmas?"
Kayla - "It's gonna be fun! I'm gonna have lots of presents, lots of toys from papa. Lots of toys from Santa."

She points to the Christmas lights on the houses out our window.
Kayla - "Those are Kayla's lights. My daddy make them for Kayla."
Me - "They are very pretty aren't they?"
Kayla nods - "Uh-hun."

She is such a smart little barely two year old!  Although, "Papa" isn't her father. It is the name for her grandfather. She ends up calling any man with a big white beard papa. 

Dear Santa,
Congratulations on becoming a grandfather.  

A Happy Announcement

Legend has had his bath, his stories, his song, and has been tucked in bed and kissed sweetly good-night. Daddy and I close the door quietly behind us, tip-toe back downstairs and flop on the couches, glad for a day's end.

We hear Legend's door bang open, then slam shut, and then the stomp-stomp of toddler feet.

Legend pauses at the top of the stairs and yells down happily, "Hi Legend!"

No, honey, that is not quite the reception you will be getting just now. Try us in 10 hours or so.

A Modern Woman

In one hand, Kayla is predictably clutching her favourite baby doll tightly to her chest. 

In the other hand she has a toy hammer with which she is whacking the tool bench purposefully and with all her might.

She is becoming a modern woman. I'm so proud.

Tuesday 20 December 2011

Hurt Bum

Legend topples off the ride-on car and lands on his bottom.

Legend - "Ow. My bum. Kiss it better?" He points his tushy in my direction.
I give his bum a little pat - "You're okay."

Legend - "My bum! Kiss it better, Kayla?"
He points his bottom in Kayla's direction, but she doesn't react.

Clearly, he is not getting his point across.

He rips his diaper and pants down in one swift motion and points his naked bum at Kayla.
"Kiss bum better?!"

I do not wait for Kayla's answer, and quickly pull his pants back up, and kiss his clothed bum to put an end to the issue.

How to Woo a Girl

Kayla arrives at the house this morning, to Legend's delight.

He runs up to her.
"Kayla! Kayla! Kayla here!
Kiss? Kiss Kayla? Kiss?"

He goes in for a smooch but Kayla hides behind my leg.
Legend - "Kayla kiss? Kiss?" He puckers his lips and holds out his arms for an embrace.

Me - "Kayla, do you want to hug Legend?"
She shakes her head no. Usually she is all for smooches, but not first thing in the morning.

Legend accepts the rejection gracefully. He starts dancing, bent at the waist, chicken-wing arms, and wiggling his torso back and forth, all while singing "Wooo-wooo! Woooo-wooo!" with every wiggle.

He sure knows how to charm the ladies.

Train Track

Legend has been asking for a train track every day for about two months.  He slips it in to casual conversation or demands one, depending on his mood. Yesterday, he mentioned wanting a train track 3 times.

He has two pieces of a wooden train toy in his hands. This train did not come with a track.
Legend - "I want to hook! Mommy! Help! I want to hook."
I hook them together.
Legend - "Mommy! I want a train track! I want a train track. Train. Hook. Track."

Later, we are colouring pictures of cars. Legend hands me a crayon and points to his paper.
"Mommy. I want a train track."
I draw a train track and and a train on it and Legend claps and yells "Choo Chooo!"
Kayla - "I want a train track too!" I draw one on hers too.
Cash - "I want a train track!"
Legend - "I want a train track more."

I am busy in the bathroom with Kayla, when I hear Legend yelling a bit frantically from the living room.
Legend - "Open! Open! OPEN!"
I find him trying unsuccessfully to open one of the presents from under the Christmas tree.
Legend - "Mommy! Help! Open! Train Track. I want it. Train track."
I'm not sure how he deduced that there was a train track in that small box. Pretty sure there are craft supplies in that one...

The awesome thing is that we bought him a wooden train table (complete with track and many trains, as well as cars, boats, and helicopters) for Christmas. This is going to be great.

What Kind of Legend?

Legend follows me into my bedroom this morning, just after having awoken for the day.  I visit with Legend's daddy for a minute, when Legend interjects.

Legend informs his daddy - "I'm an awake Legend."
Daddy - "You're an awake Legend? Did you have a good sleep?"

Legend - "I wanna be a downstairs Legend."
Me - "Okay, let's go downstairs then."

Every step, Legend sings - "Downstairs Legend."

Sunday 18 December 2011

Back Seat Screamer

We are driving the lovely drive along the lake by Peachland on our way to an early Christmas with my family.

Legend, in the back seat, suddenly screams - "Whoa! Whoa!"
There is nothing on the road.  I look back at Legend.

He is pointing out the front window with a panicked expression - "Watch out! WATCH OUT!"
I look back at the road, just to be sure, and find no danger there.

Legend, changing his mind about our predicament - "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!"

The car ride must seem like a roller-coaster in his little world... or he is just trying to psych us out.
I put my money on the latter.

Cookies

At a Christmas party, Legend stands in front of an epic plate of cookies.  He grabs a heart-shaped shortening bread cookie and munches happily.

Removing one of the top cookies has revealed cookies underneath, star-shaped cookies!
Legend reaches for a star cookie with his free hand, heart cookie in the other.
Daddy - "Legend, No. You already have a cookie. Eat this one first."

Legend tries to hand off his cookie to Daddy - "Here you go." And he reaches for a star cookie again.
Daddy - "No Legend. You have a cookie. You have to eat this one first, then maybe you can have another."

Legend tries to put his half-eaten heart cookie back on the platter so that he can have a star one instead.
A dozen adults in the room, watching the cookie temptation - "Oh. Nooo!"
Daddy catches the offending slobbered-on cookie. "You have to eat it first before you have another."

Legend puts the heart cookie up to Daddy's mouth - "Daddy's cookie."
Daddy relents and bites the cookie.

Legend grabs a star cookie victoriously, but turns to get the rest of his heart cookie back from Daddy too.

Saturday 17 December 2011

Not Cute

I am holding Legend in my arms, admiring my boy.

Me - "Legend, you are so cute!"
Legend scowls at me - "I'm not cute. I'm Legend."

No Night-night

Legend goes down for an early nap at 10:30 today.  He has been a grump all morning, so it is a relief he falls asleep so easily.  Usually, when he wakes up from his naps, he either yells out for me or starts thumping around in his room.

At 1:00, Legend opens his door and comes part way down the stairs, all on his own.
I meet him on the stairs.

Me, surprised - "Legend. Hi! You're awake."
He looks at me sleepily, and waves his hand to dismiss his bedroom. "Don't want night-night."
Me - "It's a little too late for that, honey. You've been out for hours."
Legend - "No hours. I don't want bedtime. I want snack."

I don't think he realizes he napped.

Babysitter

My boy does not cry when I leave the room.  When he refuses to leave the park or continue on a walk, the "'Ok bye-bye!' and slowly walk away from him" trick does nothing.  He is more likely to run in the other direction than worry about me being too far away.  He usually doesn't push me out the door though.

My husband and I are all dolled up for his work Christmas party.  The babysitter is here and we are all set to go.

Me - "Okay. Give me a kiss, Legend."
Legend obliges with a big, wet pucker.

Daddy - "Hug Daddy."
Legend gives his daddy a smooch too, then squirms out of his arms.

I half-step out the door and turn to give Legend one more "Goodnight, sweetie" and find the door swinging shut in my face.  I dodge backward with just enough time to see Legend's little arm pushing the door shut and to hear the slam.

Well, I guess he likes his babysitter.  I do too.  I hope she lasts.

Thursday 15 December 2011

Superman

Cash runs up to me, excitedly - "Wanna be Superman!"

This is a request for me to tuck a pillow case into the top of his shirt.

When Legend and Kayla see the game, they want pillow cases too.  The three supertots whoosh around the house. Legend flaps his arms to fly; I guess he isn't sure the cape alone can do the trick.

Cash suddenly stops beside me.
Cash - "Superman can't fly."
Me - "Yes, Superman can fly."

Cash shakes his head - "No Auntie. Superman can't fly."
Me - "Oh?"
Cash - "Look." He hops and reaches up, trying to will himself into the air.
"Superman's stuck on the floor, can't fly like a bird."
He pulls the cape off and drops it onto the couch.

Wednesday 14 December 2011

Kisses for Cash Puppy

The tots have a game in which one of them pretends to be a puppy, usually Cash, and the other two hug and kiss him, call him, and pretend to walk him. Cash loves the attention, and Kayla loves to give attention even more.

Cash drops onto his hands and knees between Legend and Kayla. He sticks his tongue out to pant and adds the occasional bark.
Legend pats him on the head and gives him a hug. - "Cash puppy dog."
Kayla grasps Cash around the head and kisses him multiple times. -"Cash is my puppy Cash."

Cash enjoys it for a moment, but Kayla does not let go. She goes in for another round of kisses.
He ducks out of her grasps, and barks as he scoots on his knees down the hall.
Kayla chases after him - "Cash! Puppy! LET ME KISS YOU!"

She chases him down (Cash is a very fast runner, but not so fast on his knees).
She trips over his back foot, lands half on top of him, grasps around his head on her way down and drags his face down to her waiting lips.

Cash scrambles away.
Kayla looks at me, guiltily - "I kiss my Cash puppy."

Sunday 11 December 2011

Shepherds' Worries

We are at a Christmas play...

Shepherd Actor 1 - "I am so bored!"
Shepherd Actor 2 - "Me too! Wouldn't it be great if a bear or lion jumped out and we could fight it with our bare hands. We'd be heroes!"
Shepherd Actor 1 - "There aren't any bears or lions here any more. I am so bored!"

Here the shepherds break into a catchy little diddy.

Shepherd 1, sarcastically - "You keep watch first tonight. Watch for bears and lions! Ha ha."

Cash yells excitedly, and even points and jumps (now here comes the action!) -
 "Watch out for bears and lions!"

Swear Warning

Legend, Daddy, Auntie Jody, and I are in the car on our way home from a Christmas play.

Legend - "Jody." (Pronounced Joji)
Me - "Say Auntie."
Daddy - "Say Auntie Jody."

Legend - "A bitch."

Beat

Legend - "A bitch!"

Me - "Oh! I think he is saying 'bridge'."
Auntie Jody - "Every time I visit, Legend picks on me! Last time I was Sushi, now..."

He'll get it eventually, Sis.

Friday 9 December 2011

Social Skills

I take Legend out for a treat and to play at the Playplace at McDonald's. There are some other children there, three 10ish year old boys and 4 year old girl. Once the kids go into the play structure, I can only see glimpses of them every so often, but I can hear everything.

Legend - "Hi! Hi!"
Little girl - "Hi! Did you hear a ghost?"
Legend - "Ghost?"
Little girl - "Ahhh! Ghosts in here!"
Legend - "BOOO!"
They both scream and shoot down the slide.

Legend - "Hi! Hi!"
Older boy, unimpressed - "Uh, hi."
Legend - "Hi! C'mere!"
Older boy - "I don't want to."
Legend - "C'mere! Hi!"

Beat

Legend - "RAWR!"
All three older boys run out of the structure with Legend on their heals. They feign fear and run away from him, leaping over chairs and scrambling back into the structure. Legend follows.

Legend - "GrrrrrOWL!"
I hear shuffling and laughing.
Older boy, in a loud voice- "Attention all officers. Report to main slide."
Legend - "HA! RAWR!"
Older boy - "Mayday! Mayday! The perpetrator has attacked. Abort mission!"
They all come tumbling down the slide and out.

Legend is always happy to be the villain in the story. Should I be worried?

Time Out Tears

I have an old chair set up in a corner, designated for time-outs. It is an old, tacky, but very comfortable chair (nice and soft for those anti-discipline tantrums). Sometimes the kids choose to play on or around it, but it is mostly used just for time-outs.

Cash somberly climbs into the chair.
Cash, in a pitiful small voice - "I'm in time-out. I am bad. I have to go time-out."
Me - "Cash, you didn't do anything wrong. Why are you in time-out?"
Cash pretends to cry - "I didn't listen to Auntie. I am in time-out."
Legend marches up to him, points at him and grumbles in pretend anger - "Time out, Cash!"
Cash fake cries and looks to me for sympathy.

How is this a fun game?

Toilet Humour

Cash successfully uses the potty and asks for a sticker for a reward. He picks a little yellow troll from the Dora cartoon and we put it on the back of his hand.

Cash - "I got a troll sticker! I peed on the potty!"
Me - "Yes. Good job going potty, Cash."
Cash - "I peed on the troll!"
Me - "You peed on the troll? You peed on the potty."
Cash - "Yeah! I peed on the troll!"

Ew.


Legend has a #2 on the potty. He looks down at the fruits of his labour.

"Wiggle snake! Wiggles snake! Look mommy! I did a wiggle snake!"
Me, trying really hard not to laugh at him or look disgusted - "That's great Legend!"

Again, EW.

Wednesday 7 December 2011

Knowledge of Dora Necessary

Legend is hiding behind the long curtain in the dining room.

Me - "Legend, where are you? Hm. I don't see Legend anywhere. Sneaky Legend! Where are you?"
Legend jumps out from behind the curtain.

Legend - "I'm sneeeeeeaaakkyyyyyy Swiper!" He advances on Daddy menacingly. 
Daddy puts his hand out to stop him - "Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper no Swiping!"

Legend quickly turns back to the curtain. - "Oh man!"
Daddy - "That sneaky Swiper is always trying to swipe our stuff!"

Repeat.

Take note: If you yell "so-and-so, no swiping!" at some one three times before they mug you, it works as a magic charm. They can't swipe your stuff. Dora said it so it must be true.

Parenting Practice

Kayla, Cash, and Legend each have a baby doll. Well, Cash and Kayla have dolls and Legend has a bear. They rock their babies, sing to them, give them bottles, and tuck them in for night-night. 

Cash puts his baby softly down on a pillow.
Cash - "Here baby. Have a pillow. Go night-night."
He grabs another pillow and a blanket - "Here baby. Have another pillow. Be nice and comfy."

He tucks his baby in and kisses it on the forehead.

Cash looks up at me, feigning surprise - "Uh-oh! Baby is crying."
Me - "Is baby okay? Is he hungry?"
Cash - "No, he is not hungry. He is still crying."
Me - "Oh. Is he hurt?"

Cash quickly looks over his baby to see if he has a scratch or bump to kiss. He doesn't find one.

Cash - "Yep, he's hurt," he says, as he pushes the baby doll off the couch.

Tuesday 6 December 2011

Nemo's Adventure

I am pretty sure Cash has watched Finding Nemo lately... We are in the car on the way to play group, when he launches into a play-by-play description of how he understands the movie.

Cash - "Got ate in a whale's mouth."

Me - "A whale? Huh?"
Cash - "That's a bad whale. Nemo wanna find his daddy."
Me - "Oh! Yeah, Nemo's daddy got eaten."
Cash - "Nemo stuck in the little water. He wants to go in the big water, find his daddy."
Me - "That's right Cash. And Nemo's daddy is trying very hard to find his son Nemo too. They miss each other."
Cash - "Yeah, Auntie. Nemo not in the water. He in a boat, going away."
Me - "Yeah, and his daddy tried to catch the boat."
Cash - "Nemo daddy got ate in the whale mouth. Bad whale."
Me - "The whale didn't mean to. He spit him out. He said 'sorry. Bye bye.'"
Cash - "He spit him out?"
Me - "Yep."
Cash - "Oh. That's right, Auntie."

Cash - "I have to eat the car, like Nemo in the whale."
Me - "You have to eat the car?!"
Cash - "I have to eat the car."

Right. I think we got a bit confused somewhere there.

Christmas Tree

Legend knows Daddy has gone to get the Christmas tree.
Legend - "Tree. In house? Tree!"

Daddy is outside sawing off some limbs and fixing it into the tree stand. Legend tries to watch through the window and lingers near the door.
Legend - "Daddy! Tree. House. Tree? Tree now?"

Daddy brings the tree, still wrapped tight with twine, into the house, ready to unfurl and start decorating.
Legend takes one looking at the skinny, pointy tree.
Legend - "Rocket ship! 5. 4. 5. 1." He tries to count down to blast off time, but there is no way I am going to zoom the tree around the house like I do with his other toys.
Daddy - "It is a tree, Legend."
Legend - "Rocket ship!"

We decorate the tree, and Legend is pretty into it.  He even helps Daddy put the star on top. But, we never can convince him it is a tree.

Legend - "Rocket ship! Wow! Rocket ship! 5. 4. 5. 4."
Me - "It is a Christmas tree, Legend. Can you say Christmas?"
Legend mumbles a weak attempt at the word, then sticks to one he knows.  "Rocket ship!"
Daddy - "Legend, it is a rocket tree!"
Legend - "Rocket tree."

Who says toddlers can't compromise?

Monday 5 December 2011

Cowboys

The day before we take Cash and Legend to a Winter Wonderland fair, both boys are so excited to ride ponies.  Just before Cash leaves for the day, he makes sure we are still going tomorrow.

Cash - "Auntie, in...morrow we go ride ponies? We gonna be cowboys? And say Yehaw!"
Me - "Yes, that's right. We will go tomorrow. And you will get to see and pet lots of animals, see Santa, and make a Christmas card craft."
Cash - "See Santa? He bringing me lots of toys?"
Me - "Yes." I have trouble with the Santa thing, but I will go with it.
Cash - "And be cowboys riding ponies?"
Me - "Yes."
Cash - "Yehaw!"

The next morning we have a very similar conversation and the boys discuss horses and cowboys the entire 20 minute drive there.  Needless to say, we hit the pony rides first.  But, there was a bit of false advertising. There are no ponies. 

There are beautiful, large horses, including a clydesdale. 

Legend and Cash happily get their helmets, and wait excitedly with their hands on the fence, watching the horses do their laps with other kids on their backs. 

Finally the moment arrives when it is Cash and Legend's turn to have a ride. I walk Cash over to the gate and the volunteers bring a beautiful, old, golden clydesdale to a stop in front of him. Cash takes a half step back and grabs my leg.

The volunteer - "Okay big guy, do you want to ride this horse?"
Cash vigorously shakes his head no, and lets out a strangled squeak of fear. 
The volunteer has her friend bring a horse about half the size around - "How about this one?"
Cash nods slowly, unsure - "Okay."

We take him to the steps and get him up on the horse. He smiles for a moment, then the horse sighs and shifts its weight. 
Cash puts his arms out to me, fear in his eyes.
Me - "It's okay Cash. I will be besides you the whole time. I promise."
Cash - "No. Off. Off."
Volunteer - "You can do it buddy. Give the horse a nice pet, feel his soft fur."
Me - "Cash, you are a cowboy! Awesome! You can be a great cowboy! Ok?"
Cash - "Okay." 

After a few moments of riding, Cash begins to smile.
He tells the volunteer, "I'm not afraid of the horses."

Meanwhile, Legend is atop the clydesdale and loving every moment.

"Yehaw!"

Sunday 4 December 2011

A Compliment

I am all dressed up for a choir concert.

Me - "Cody, do I look okay?"
Cody - "Yeah, you look great, love."
Me - "I dunno. This skirt is a bit too big... Is my lipstick too garish?"
Cody - "No. You look lovely."
I don't really believe him and decide to go look in the full length mirror again. I turn to find Legend in my path instead.

Legend - "Wow. Cute! Cute! Mommy cute!"

Considering he has repeatedly told me the mole on my neck is "yucky", and that I am a "big" mommy, this is quite the compliment. I always know he is honest and he never holds back.

Shortly after this exchange, he tries to lift my "cute" skirt.

Friday 2 December 2011

What Hurts?

Legend's schedule is completely off today because he woke up horribly early. I usually run a very scheduled home; it just makes life with tots run as smoothly as possible when everyone knows what to expect and when to expect it.  We have small routines built into everything, like going potty before we leave the house every day, or putting the sippy cup back in the exact same spot after every use. We also have an over-arching schedule of meal and nap times. It works... most of the time. Even good plans fail sometimes.

Legend is playing happily in the afternoon, rolling cars down the hallway, and playing a tag game with Cash, when suddenly he plops down on the floor and just starts to bawl.

I rush to him.
Me - "Oh Legend! Are you okay, honey?"
Legend pauses long enough to inhale and look pitifully into my eyes, before letting out another bawl.
I rock him and squeeze him.
Me - "Legend, what is wrong, my sweet boy?"
He looks up at me, tears streaming down his face. "I hurt."
Me - "You hurt? Oh no! What hurts? Where?"
Legend just collapses into me and cries.

I start worriedly checking him over, and I feel his forehead for a fever.
Then it dawns on me.
I pull him away from me so I can look into his eyes.
"Legend, are you hungry?"
He pauses his wail for a moment, considering.
Legend nods - "Uh hun. hungy."

He eats an apple and is the picture of happiness for the rest of the day.


Wow. He could have just asked for an apple...

Thursday 1 December 2011

What is a Toy?

The boys are being a little too loud and a little too rambunctious at the lunch table.  They are rolling their cups back and forth to each other and yelling about it.

Me, my voice hushed to get their attention - "Legend and Cash, we are quiet at the table please. Stop playing with your cups; they are not toys."
They stop.

Cash - "Cups are not toys?"
Me - "No, your cups are for drinking, not playing. They are not toys." I deliberately place the cups upright on the table.
Cash - "Oh. Cups are not toys. Hm."

He thinks for a moment, while Legend has gone back to munching on his lunch.

Cash - "Is sandwich a toy? I play with sandwich."  He nods, like he has figured it out.
Me - "No, sandwich is not a toy. You eat your lunch properly please."
Cash - "Sandwich is not a toy?"
Me - "No. Eat up please."

He considers my request.

Then he reaches over and grabs Legend's sandwich triumphantly.
"Legend's sandwich is a toy!"

I am certain his look of triumph is because he knows he has done well to push my buttons.  He is a smart (and tricky) cookie.