Super Powers

Me - "If you were a super hero, what would be your super power?"

Cash - "I would have blow power! I can blow so hard all the things and bad guys fly away and go like this..." He enacts being tossed around be wind.

Legend - "I have fire power! I have fires that shoot out my hands and fire on the bad guys. And I am super strong and fast. I am a brave SUPER FIRE HERO LEGEND!" He begins shooting fire at invisible bad guys.

Kayla - "I have heart-shape-o. I change bad guys' heart into good guy hearts." Smiles coyly.

Me - "I am super-mom. I have duplication powers so I can make lots and lots of me's. One mommy can feed Penny while one mommy plays with you guys, while one mommy fights bad guys."  Sounds handy to me.

Cash - "What is Penny's power?"

Legend - "Penny has the power of EATING!"

Cash - "Yeah! She eats ALL the FOOD and gets enormous!"

Legend - "Just like the Hulk can grow. Penny grows and grows huge and huger and squishes all the bad guys with her huge baby feet and cute huge bum!"  The boys and Penny are now all yelling at each other.

Cash - "Yeah! And she can eat more food and more food and get huger and huger and EAT the bad guys!"

Cash and Legend dissolve into masculine grunts and skinny little flexed muscles.

Kayla, calmly - "Penny's just such a cute baby. Right, Auntie Kate?"

Me - "Right, Kayla."

Dangerous Humans

Legend - "Why do boy cows... bulls... not like humans? They think humans are dangerous. Why?"
Me - "Humans are dangerous. We eat meat. What do you think steak is?"

Legend - "Steak is a cow?"
Me - "Yep."
Legend - "I like eating cows."

Me - "Yeah, me too. But you can see why they think we are dangerous then. We even steal their milk. Cow's milk is what is in the fridge in the jugs."

Legend points at my chest - "Just like there is milk in your jugs."

Just Like Daddy

Legend - "When I grow and grow up, I am going to be as big as Daddy."
Daddy - "You might even grow taller than Daddy."
Legend - "I want to be as big and grow to the same age as Daddy. And then I will grow my belly."
Daddy - "No, no. You don't want the big belly... trying to lose weight blah blah health blah blah tall etc."

Legend - "Okay well I am going to grow a big beard and over my nose, a moustache, all around and around my whole head."
Me - "Are you going to grow hair on your chest too?"
Legend - "I am going to grow hair on my chest, and then on my back too. And all under, around my wee wee too. Lots of hair."

What's in a Name?

The kids often play a silly game in which they pretend to confuse each others' names. They roar with laughter at this, especially if I join in.

Cash - "I'm Legend!"
Kayla - "Haha! You're Cash!"
Giggles.

Legend points at Kayla - "You're Cash."
He points at Cash - "And you're Legend, and I am Kayla!"
Giggles.

Cash - "You're not Kayla!"
Legend swooshes his shaved head from side to side - "Yes I am; can't you see my beautiful hair?"
Uproarious laughter.

Civic Duty

The arrival of the mail is a big event in my house. When it is pushed through the slot and the kids hear the clack, they race to retrieve it for me.

Cash gets their first this time and Kayla and Legend pout for a moment then continue their play.

Cash hands me the mail.
Me - "Thanks Cash. Oh, my voting card. I guess I need to vote soon."
Cash - "What's vote?"
Me - "Blah blah...voting... country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah."  (Instilling patriotic values and stuff, I'm sure.)
Cash hold up a flyer - "Yeah, well, there is a truck on this one."
Me - "So there is."

...

Me - "When Daddy gets home, we'll all walk down and vote."
Legend - "What's a vote?"
Me - "Blah blah...voting... country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah." A simplified version from my conversation with Cash earlier. Let's try this again.
Legend - "Okay we vote."

Daddy walks in the door.
Legend races up to him - "Daddy! Mommy says we are going on a boat! Can we go swimming off the boat with Grandpa?"
Me - "AH! No. Vote! Vote!"
Legend - "Boat?"
Daddy - "Vote. Blah blah...voting... country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah. And then we might get some supper after."
Legend - "Please we go to McDonalds after we go to the boat?"

I'm So Hungry

We are walking home from a long morning at the park and Cash starts up the "I'm so hungry" game. We play this game often, usually while walking home to have lunch.

Cash - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!"
Kayla and Legend laugh.
Kayla - "Not a horse!"

Kayla - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a dirty sock!"
Cash and Legend laugh.
Cash - "Ewww! Dirty sock! Gross!"

Legend - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a big house!"
Cash and Kayla laugh.
Kayla - "Not a house!"

Me - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a Penelope!"
Laughter.
Cash - "Don't eat the baby! She is a people!"


Cash - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a hotdog!"
Me - "But that's food."
Cash - "Yeah. Well, I like them."

What's this for?

Legend is sitting cross-legged wearing only underwear. We are reading a book together.

Legend pulls open the top of his underwear and takes a look at himself.

Legend - "I can see part of my wee wee there."
Me - "Uh-hun. Let's read the book."

Legend pulls open his underwear again - "There is my wee wee."
Me - "Yep. Do you have to go pee?"

Legend pokes his testicles - "And that part helps the wee wee not break off."

What Are Chins For?

Legend is grinding his teeth.

Me - "Oh! Legend, don't do that. You'll wreck your teeth."

He does it again just to tick me off.
I gently pull his chin down to stop him. "Legend. Don't. You'll wreck your teeth!"

Legend - "Don't wreck my chin 'cause otherwise I won't have a chin no more and then I won't get a beard."

A Mouthful

It is lunch time and I have dished out all of Cash's healthy food: veggies and dip, spaghetti and an orange sliced in triangles with the peel still on.

I am finishing Legend's meal preparation when I look up to see Cash's mouth extremely full and he is doing his best to chew.

I gently admonish him - "I think maybe you should take smaller bites, Cash."
Cash nods and continues laboriously chewing.

I am busy with Kayla's lunch for a couple minutes.
He is still chewing and now there are tears in his eyes.

Me - "Cash, are you okay? What are you eating anyways?" His food appears untouched.
Cash barely manages to spit out, "orange", around his massive bite.

There is no peel on his plate.

Me, knowing the awful answer already - "Cash, where is the peel?"
Cash spits - "Ate it."

Not yet, you haven't.
I grab a napkin and ask him to spit it out.

Me - "Cash, the peel is not food."
Cash - "Yeah, cuz I don't like it."

No kidding.

Gender Revisited

Legend has trouble with knowing when to say "his" or "her", "he" or "she". I am not really hung up on gender and do not ascribe colours, activities, or behaviour to boys or girls. Legend doesn't either. In the same breath he can switch from being Spiderman to being a princess and I think that is cool. But, he really wants to get his pronouns down and can't seem to master them, so we have discussions about gender often. Usually these discussions don't take a strictly biological path.

Legend points to Cash - "She has cheese just like I do!"
Me - "He."
Cash - "Yeah, 'cause I'm a boy."
Legend - "He."
Cash - "He."

Legend - "Me and Cash are both boys!"
Cash - "Yep. And Auntie Kate is a girl just like my mommy is a girl."
Me - "That's right."

Legend - "You're a girl because you are a mommy."
Me - "Yes. Only girls can become mommies."
Cash - "Kayla is a girl too. She is not a mommy right now."
Me - "Maybe one day when she grows up."

Legend - "I'm a boy so I have a wee wee."
Me - "That's right. Girls don't have wee wees."

Legend - "You never know."

A Scene from a Drop Everything Life

The scene my husband comes home to on Valentines day:

There is flour, sugar, sprinkles, icing, and clumps of dough in various consistencies all over the kitchen table, and quite a bit on the floor.

Bags of sugar, flour, all kinds of cookie ingredients, and a ridiculously huge quantity of cookie cutters are piled on the kitchen table.

The oven is off but cookies are still in there. There is a big bowl half full of uncooked dough on the counter and cookie trays scattered on top of the stove half full of cookies.

There are two little boys sitting at the kitchen table, one studiously decorating a plate full of cookies, the other (mine) eating a plate full of not quite decorated cookies.

Me and Penny, on the couch, mid-milk meal.
When the baby says it's meal time, it's meal time.

At least I turned the oven off.

And we made a peace offering: poorly decorated, half-mixed, somewhat baked sugar cookies!
Happy Valentines Day, Daddy.

Love

Legend - "Daddy I love you so so so so so so MUCH!"
Daddy - "I love you SO much too!"

Legend - "Daddy I love you more than the sun!"
Daddy - "Wow! I love you more than the sun too!"

Legend - "Daddy I love you even much more than the moon!"
Daddy - "Wow! I love you more than the moon too!"

Legend - "Daddy! I love you even much bigger than the Milky Way!"
Daddy - "Holy smokes! I love you more than the universe!"

Legend - "Daddy, I love you even more than Mommy and Nelope!"
Daddy - "Oh... Uh..."

And Mommy's heart was just a little broken for a moment.

Super Daddy

Legend and Daddy are playing an epic super hero game, while Daddy simultaneously cleans the kitchen. What a great man I have!

It begins...
Legend hands Daddy a play phone - "Daddy, you be Grandma and I be Legend."
Daddy - "I don't want to be Grandma again. I'll be Sir Topham hat.  Rrrring. Rrrrrring."
Legend answers his play phone - "Hello. I am Super Legend!"
Daddy - "Hello Super Legend. This is Sir Topham Hat. I need your help. Spencer is stuck in the mud!"
Legend - "Don't worry! I am super strong!" He throws the phone down and acts out picking Spencer the train out of the mud and putting him back on the tracks with his super muscles.
...

Next Daddy is the Hulk. Legend insists that the Hulk is a nice guy now and they make plans over the phone to "save peoples."
Legend - "Hey big green guy! Let's save peoples."
Daddy - "Okay! My name is Hulk."
Pretend battles against imaginary evils ensues.
Legend - "Hey green nice big green guy!"
Daddy - "It's Hulk. Why can't you remember my name?"
Legend - "Hey Hulk big green guy!"
...

Next Daddy is Optimus Prime from Transformers on the phone. After Legend double checks that Optimus Prime is a nice robot guy, they fight evil together.
Legend - "You will not defeat us, bad guys!"
Daddy - "Roll out!"
Legend - "Roll out?"
Daddy - "Yeah. Roll out. It means 'let's go!'"
Legend - "Let's go roll out!"
...

Next Daddy is Spiderman and Legend has changed his name to "Super Legend Iron Man!"

Legend runs over to me with his phone held high. He is so excited by this game, having so much fun, he must tell me about it.

Legend - "Super Mommy! You are feeding Super Nelope? Super Mommy, I am Super Legend Iron Man! I have this super phone for talking to Spiderman, Grandma, Grandpa, and Optimus Prime!"

I love watching my boys play.

Instructions

Legend loves to help take care of his baby sister. Usually this "help" is not at all helpful, but sometimes it is very helpful. For instance, sometimes he puts a toy on the sleeping baby's face or pats her back to burp her when I am trying to rock her to sleep. But, he is a great runner for various things: diapers, a burp cloth, putting the bottle back in the fridge, grabbing my phone for me while I am breastfeeding. He follows simple instructions very well and is proud of himself when he helps. He loves his sister possessively and delights in her every squeak, so far.

...


I am breastfeeding Penny. I feel a little trapped when I breastfeed because it takes some effort to get everything set up just right.

Legend, panicked - "I have to go PEE!"
Me - "Go! Hurry to the bathroom, Legend!" For some reason he still needs verbal direction on this.

Legend goes to the bathroom and does his business. Then he starts singing and turning the water on and off.
Me - "Legend, wash your hands." I call from my couch.
Legend washes his hands then comes out of the bathroom pants-less.

Me - "Legend, please go put your underwear on."
I am now actually feeling very grateful that Legend is at an age where he can follow simple instructions and use the bathroom on his own. He needs lots of verbal direction and coaching, but he can do it. I think, "I'm so glad we waited until he was 3 to have another baby!"

Then Legend comes out of the bathroom, naked from the waist down, underwear on his head, singing and dancing.

Update

Penelope Louise was born at 6:36pm December 12, 2012, weighing 7lbs1oz, healthy and beautiful.