Just Like Daddy

Legend - "When I grow and grow up, I am going to be as big as Daddy."
Daddy - "You might even grow taller than Daddy."
Legend - "I want to be as big and grow to the same age as Daddy. And then I will grow my belly."
Daddy - "No, no. You don't want the big belly... trying to lose weight blah blah health blah blah tall etc."

Legend - "Okay well I am going to grow a big beard and over my nose, a moustache, all around and around my whole head."
Me - "Are you going to grow hair on your chest too?"
Legend - "I am going to grow hair on my chest, and then on my back too. And all under, around my wee wee too. Lots of hair."

What's in a Name?

The kids often play a silly game in which they pretend to confuse each others' names. They roar with laughter at this, especially if I join in.

Cash - "I'm Legend!"
Kayla - "Haha! You're Cash!"
Giggles.

Legend points at Kayla - "You're Cash."
He points at Cash - "And you're Legend, and I am Kayla!"
Giggles.

Cash - "You're not Kayla!"
Legend swooshes his shaved head from side to side - "Yes I am; can't you see my beautiful hair?"
Uproarious laughter.

Civic Duty

The arrival of the mail is a big event in my house. When it is pushed through the slot and the kids hear the clack, they race to retrieve it for me.

Cash gets their first this time and Kayla and Legend pout for a moment then continue their play.

Cash hands me the mail.
Me - "Thanks Cash. Oh, my voting card. I guess I need to vote soon."
Cash - "What's vote?"
Me - "Blah blah...voting... country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah."  (Instilling patriotic values and stuff, I'm sure.)
Cash hold up a flyer - "Yeah, well, there is a truck on this one."
Me - "So there is."

...

Me - "When Daddy gets home, we'll all walk down and vote."
Legend - "What's a vote?"
Me - "Blah blah...voting... country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah." A simplified version from my conversation with Cash earlier. Let's try this again.
Legend - "Okay we vote."

Daddy walks in the door.
Legend races up to him - "Daddy! Mommy says we are going on a boat! Can we go swimming off the boat with Grandpa?"
Me - "AH! No. Vote! Vote!"
Legend - "Boat?"
Daddy - "Vote. Blah blah...voting... country... Canada...blah blah... duty... government...provinces...leaders...blach blah blah. And then we might get some supper after."
Legend - "Please we go to McDonalds after we go to the boat?"

I'm So Hungry

We are walking home from a long morning at the park and Cash starts up the "I'm so hungry" game. We play this game often, usually while walking home to have lunch.

Cash - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!"
Kayla and Legend laugh.
Kayla - "Not a horse!"

Kayla - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a dirty sock!"
Cash and Legend laugh.
Cash - "Ewww! Dirty sock! Gross!"

Legend - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a big house!"
Cash and Kayla laugh.
Kayla - "Not a house!"

Me - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a Penelope!"
Laughter.
Cash - "Don't eat the baby! She is a people!"


Cash - "I'm so hungry, I could eat a hotdog!"
Me - "But that's food."
Cash - "Yeah. Well, I like them."

What's this for?

Legend is sitting cross-legged wearing only underwear. We are reading a book together.

Legend pulls open the top of his underwear and takes a look at himself.

Legend - "I can see part of my wee wee there."
Me - "Uh-hun. Let's read the book."

Legend pulls open his underwear again - "There is my wee wee."
Me - "Yep. Do you have to go pee?"

Legend pokes his testicles - "And that part helps the wee wee not break off."

What Are Chins For?

Legend is grinding his teeth.

Me - "Oh! Legend, don't do that. You'll wreck your teeth."

He does it again just to tick me off.
I gently pull his chin down to stop him. "Legend. Don't. You'll wreck your teeth!"

Legend - "Don't wreck my chin 'cause otherwise I won't have a chin no more and then I won't get a beard."

A Mouthful

It is lunch time and I have dished out all of Cash's healthy food: veggies and dip, spaghetti and an orange sliced in triangles with the peel still on.

I am finishing Legend's meal preparation when I look up to see Cash's mouth extremely full and he is doing his best to chew.

I gently admonish him - "I think maybe you should take smaller bites, Cash."
Cash nods and continues laboriously chewing.

I am busy with Kayla's lunch for a couple minutes.
He is still chewing and now there are tears in his eyes.

Me - "Cash, are you okay? What are you eating anyways?" His food appears untouched.
Cash barely manages to spit out, "orange", around his massive bite.

There is no peel on his plate.

Me, knowing the awful answer already - "Cash, where is the peel?"
Cash spits - "Ate it."

Not yet, you haven't.
I grab a napkin and ask him to spit it out.

Me - "Cash, the peel is not food."
Cash - "Yeah, cuz I don't like it."

No kidding.