What's this for?

Legend is sitting cross-legged wearing only underwear. We are reading a book together.

Legend pulls open the top of his underwear and takes a look at himself.

Legend - "I can see part of my wee wee there."
Me - "Uh-hun. Let's read the book."

Legend pulls open his underwear again - "There is my wee wee."
Me - "Yep. Do you have to go pee?"

Legend pokes his testicles - "And that part helps the wee wee not break off."

What Are Chins For?

Legend is grinding his teeth.

Me - "Oh! Legend, don't do that. You'll wreck your teeth."

He does it again just to tick me off.
I gently pull his chin down to stop him. "Legend. Don't. You'll wreck your teeth!"

Legend - "Don't wreck my chin 'cause otherwise I won't have a chin no more and then I won't get a beard."

A Mouthful

It is lunch time and I have dished out all of Cash's healthy food: veggies and dip, spaghetti and an orange sliced in triangles with the peel still on.

I am finishing Legend's meal preparation when I look up to see Cash's mouth extremely full and he is doing his best to chew.

I gently admonish him - "I think maybe you should take smaller bites, Cash."
Cash nods and continues laboriously chewing.

I am busy with Kayla's lunch for a couple minutes.
He is still chewing and now there are tears in his eyes.

Me - "Cash, are you okay? What are you eating anyways?" His food appears untouched.
Cash barely manages to spit out, "orange", around his massive bite.

There is no peel on his plate.

Me, knowing the awful answer already - "Cash, where is the peel?"
Cash spits - "Ate it."

Not yet, you haven't.
I grab a napkin and ask him to spit it out.

Me - "Cash, the peel is not food."
Cash - "Yeah, cuz I don't like it."

No kidding.

Gender Revisited

Legend has trouble with knowing when to say "his" or "her", "he" or "she". I am not really hung up on gender and do not ascribe colours, activities, or behaviour to boys or girls. Legend doesn't either. In the same breath he can switch from being Spiderman to being a princess and I think that is cool. But, he really wants to get his pronouns down and can't seem to master them, so we have discussions about gender often. Usually these discussions don't take a strictly biological path.

Legend points to Cash - "She has cheese just like I do!"
Me - "He."
Cash - "Yeah, 'cause I'm a boy."
Legend - "He."
Cash - "He."

Legend - "Me and Cash are both boys!"
Cash - "Yep. And Auntie Kate is a girl just like my mommy is a girl."
Me - "That's right."

Legend - "You're a girl because you are a mommy."
Me - "Yes. Only girls can become mommies."
Cash - "Kayla is a girl too. She is not a mommy right now."
Me - "Maybe one day when she grows up."

Legend - "I'm a boy so I have a wee wee."
Me - "That's right. Girls don't have wee wees."

Legend - "You never know."

A Scene from a Drop Everything Life

The scene my husband comes home to on Valentines day:

There is flour, sugar, sprinkles, icing, and clumps of dough in various consistencies all over the kitchen table, and quite a bit on the floor.

Bags of sugar, flour, all kinds of cookie ingredients, and a ridiculously huge quantity of cookie cutters are piled on the kitchen table.

The oven is off but cookies are still in there. There is a big bowl half full of uncooked dough on the counter and cookie trays scattered on top of the stove half full of cookies.

There are two little boys sitting at the kitchen table, one studiously decorating a plate full of cookies, the other (mine) eating a plate full of not quite decorated cookies.

Me and Penny, on the couch, mid-milk meal.
When the baby says it's meal time, it's meal time.

At least I turned the oven off.

And we made a peace offering: poorly decorated, half-mixed, somewhat baked sugar cookies!
Happy Valentines Day, Daddy.

Love

Legend - "Daddy I love you so so so so so so MUCH!"
Daddy - "I love you SO much too!"

Legend - "Daddy I love you more than the sun!"
Daddy - "Wow! I love you more than the sun too!"

Legend - "Daddy I love you even much more than the moon!"
Daddy - "Wow! I love you more than the moon too!"

Legend - "Daddy! I love you even much bigger than the Milky Way!"
Daddy - "Holy smokes! I love you more than the universe!"

Legend - "Daddy, I love you even more than Mommy and Nelope!"
Daddy - "Oh... Uh..."

And Mommy's heart was just a little broken for a moment.

Super Daddy

Legend and Daddy are playing an epic super hero game, while Daddy simultaneously cleans the kitchen. What a great man I have!

It begins...
Legend hands Daddy a play phone - "Daddy, you be Grandma and I be Legend."
Daddy - "I don't want to be Grandma again. I'll be Sir Topham hat.  Rrrring. Rrrrrring."
Legend answers his play phone - "Hello. I am Super Legend!"
Daddy - "Hello Super Legend. This is Sir Topham Hat. I need your help. Spencer is stuck in the mud!"
Legend - "Don't worry! I am super strong!" He throws the phone down and acts out picking Spencer the train out of the mud and putting him back on the tracks with his super muscles.
...

Next Daddy is the Hulk. Legend insists that the Hulk is a nice guy now and they make plans over the phone to "save peoples."
Legend - "Hey big green guy! Let's save peoples."
Daddy - "Okay! My name is Hulk."
Pretend battles against imaginary evils ensues.
Legend - "Hey green nice big green guy!"
Daddy - "It's Hulk. Why can't you remember my name?"
Legend - "Hey Hulk big green guy!"
...

Next Daddy is Optimus Prime from Transformers on the phone. After Legend double checks that Optimus Prime is a nice robot guy, they fight evil together.
Legend - "You will not defeat us, bad guys!"
Daddy - "Roll out!"
Legend - "Roll out?"
Daddy - "Yeah. Roll out. It means 'let's go!'"
Legend - "Let's go roll out!"
...

Next Daddy is Spiderman and Legend has changed his name to "Super Legend Iron Man!"

Legend runs over to me with his phone held high. He is so excited by this game, having so much fun, he must tell me about it.

Legend - "Super Mommy! You are feeding Super Nelope? Super Mommy, I am Super Legend Iron Man! I have this super phone for talking to Spiderman, Grandma, Grandpa, and Optimus Prime!"

I love watching my boys play.