Fart

Kayla lets one rip.

Kayla - "Fart!"
Me - "Say excuse me."
Kayla points to a butterfly on my shirt.
Kayla - "Butter Fart."
Me - "Butterfly."
Kayla - "No. Butter Fart."

Dirty

We arrive at the beach for a play date and picnic.

Me - "Kayla, would you like to take off your shoes and play in the sand?"
Kayla - "Yay! Shoes off. Sand."
I remove her shoes, but as her feet touch the sand she starts to cry.
Kayla - "Sand dirty. Yuck. No dirty. Shoes on."

I just wonder what she expected sand to be?

Bubbles

Legend starts saying one of his new favourite words, "bubbles", and pointing at the fridge. I think that he must be confused on the meaning of the word again and say, "fridge" to correct him.

Legend starts half laughing half whining, jumping up and down, and still saying, "bubbles".
I drag myself from my breakfast to discover that what he is so excited about is a plumbers fridge magnet that has a picture of bubbles on it.

I give the magnet to Legend and he marches around the house, magnet in hand, singing "bubbles" at the top of his lungs.
I go back to my breakfast.

Misplaced Water Works

Kayla and Cash are playing with toy cars on the car play structure that has a long swirly ramp to send the cars down.

Kayla smiles as she pushes the car around the top of the structure then lets it go at the top of the ramp. The car turns the first corner and Kayla loses sight of it. She starts bawling and screaming accusingly at Cash, "My car! My car!".

Cash stares at her bewildered.

Me - "Cash can you please help Kay find her car? It is at the bottom of the ramp."
Cash picks up the car and hands it to the hysterical Kayla, who yanks it out of his hand and immediately turns the water works off.

This girl clearly knows how to get what she wants...but she does not yet understand basic physics.

Sing and Dance

Legend and Kayla were mostly ignoring each other, playing with different toys across the room from one another, when Kayla started singing, at least I assume it was meant to be singing. Legend joined in right away and they sang a little non-sense song and danced together. They miraculously kept the same beat and bobbed the same way. Kayla added in the odd, random word, but mostly they said "Boo... Ba.. Beh" to 4/4 time and bobbed. It was kind of awesome and I wish I knew what song they were singing.

Soft

Cash is reading one of those touch-and-feel animal books in which every page has a patch of fake fur or something to touch.

He looks at a page with a cat and fake fur, pets the fur and says "Kitty. Ooh. Nice and soft."
He looks at a page with a dog and more fake fur, pets it and says, "Puppy. Nice and soft."
Then he reaches over to my less than smooth leg, pets it and says, "Auntie. Nice and soft."

Perhaps it is time for a shave.

Mine

Legend is having his cereal and watching a morning cartoon. The cartoon is about a race and at the end, one of the characters is given a gold medal for winning.

As the medal is placed around the neck of the winner, Legend starts crying out "No! No! Mine! Mine!". He is genuinely upset that they are giving His medal to someone else. He stretches and groans, reaching for the medal, willing it off the screen and into his hand.

I may or may not do the same when the Caramilk commercial airs...

Ice Cream

I took Legend for an ice cream treat at DQ today, a little stroller date with my sweetie. We each got a small cone and sat in the store, discussing the finer points of store decor and saying Hi to random people.

Legend is eating his cone with big, wet licks, then notices I also have a cone. He says "Cheers" and smashes his cone into mine.

Then, he practices one of his brand new words, "nose", and shows me he knows exactly where his nose is by smooshing it into his ice cream.

He is such a charmer.

Cleaning

Today was a day of scrubbing, disinfecting, and shining. Legend saw his mommy, daddy and auntie Carmen all with cloths in our hands, scrubbing hard. He probably thought it must be great fun if we were all so busy doing it, so he wanted a cloth too.

Carmen went outside the sliding glass door to clean the glass, and Legend ran up with his cloth on the inside, mimicking her best he could. Then he grabbed the vacuum and gave that a go too.

Too bad he can't yet reach the high spots, but he will soon enough and he better believe he will be doing windows, and dishes, and law mowing, and vacuuming and.... That's what kids are for, right?

Innocence

We are playing in the backyard. I have a great toddler set up with big crocodile baby pool, a climber with slide that I put in the pool, and a turtle sandbox.

Kayla walks up to me with an innocent smile and a little blue bucket in her hand.
Kayla very sweetly says, "Here you go, Auntie." as she dumps the bucket of water all over my legs.

Perhaps her innocent smile was really one of clandestine.

Kiss it better

Legend scraped up all his toes on his left foot at the beach yesterday. Because toes are inexplicably one of his favourite things (he mentions them at least a dozen times a day), he is very concerned about these scrapes.

Legend - "Oh no! Toes! Ouch." He squats, inspecting the offending scrapes.
Me - "Oh no. You hurt your toes. Are you ok?" It has become a bit of a game for him to talk about his injuries and he likes it, of course, when I feign concern.
Legend - "Toes. Ouch." Then he leans down and kisses his own toes, smiles and shrugs, and carries on.

Kiss it better works, I swear. But, I didn't know you could self heal with it. I learn something new everyday.

Success

Me - "Yay Kayla! You peed in the potty! Yay Kayla!"
Kayla - "Yay Auntie! You did it!"

Time out

Legend is playing with the old high chair, pushing it around, doing up the buckles and crawling under it. Kayla walks up and grabs the chair.

Kayla - "No Gedgey. Mine. Don't touch."
Legend ignores her.
Kayla - "Time out Gedgey. Bad. Time out!"
Me - "No Kayla, you don't get to give Legend a time out. That's not your chair. Legend's turn to play."
She turns to me with a fully worked up glower.
Kayla - "Auntie, Time OUT!"

An Artist's Modesty

Legend and Cash were very proud of their butterfly paintings. You know the kind where you paint on one side of the paper then fold it over and press it together to get the same paint on the other half of the paper? 

I put Legend's on the fridge and Cody and I fawn over it, telling him how wonderful it is and how proud we are of him. We gush. 

Legend listens happily while mommy and daddy go on and on with praise, then he waves his arm as if to dismiss it all and says "Yuck, yuck!".

An artist is his own worst critic.

Boats need Water

Cash is on top of the play structure/slide in our back yard, playing with the steering wheel. 

Me - "Are you driving a car, Cash?"

Cash - "I'm driving a boat. Vroooom!"

Me - "Do you see any fish in the water?"

Cash looks down at the grass - "Oh NO! Ran out of water!"

Pretend only goes so far with toddlers.

Potty Training continues

Trying the naked method, in which the child goes without a diaper, obviously to learn not to rely on the diaper.

Of course, after all my attempts to get Kayla to pee in the potty, she pees on the floor. I clean it up and sterilize the floor (glad I don't have carpet) and explain things to Kayla.

Me - "Kayla, look at Auntie (I make sure I have her full attention) Don't pee on the floor. Yucky. Pee in the potty."
Kayla - "I peed on the floor."
Me - "Kayla, please pee in the potty. Don't pee on the floor."
Kayla - "No potty."
Me - "Yes, please pee in the potty."
Kayla - "I'm gonna pee on the couch."

I go get her diaper. Clearly we are done for the day.

Potty Training - 1st attempt with Kayla

I bought a potty that makes music if the tot successfully uses it. I tried to find a Drink-and-Wet doll to do the Dr. Phil recommended method, but they are out of vogue in Canada and I couldn't find one decently priced. So, I went with the recommendations of other moms, and used a regular baby doll and a squeeze bottle held behind its back. Kayla is ready. 

I help Kayla pretend to give baby doll a drink. She loves babies and has a new one, so this is a good start. Then I act surprised and say, "Baby has to pee. Let's go to the potty!" We run to the potty and put the doll on the potty. I then squeeze water from behind the doll into the potty to make the music go and we cheer. "Yay, baby peed on the potty!" 

We go through this 4 times. Kayla thinks it is great fun and dances when the music plays. 

On the fourth go, I ask Kayla, "Can Kayla pee on the potty too?"

Kayla - "Pee on the potty!"

So I get her on the potty and she just sits there for a moment, looking expectantly at me, and I at her. 

Me - "Pee on the potty Kayla. Just like baby."

Kayla - "Auntie pour water. Music." 

Apparently my slight of hand was not so slight. 

Stroller Attack

The boys enjoy pushing the stroller around the park, especially Cash. Legend's big feat is to climb into the stroller while Cash is pushing it.

Today Cash plows the stroller right into Legend's back. Legend jumps up, runs about eight feet away and turns and looks at Cash, offended. Cash starts pushing the stroller again, directly at Legend.

Legend is shocked. He puts his hand out as if directing traffic to stop, and yells, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" while Cash slowly, very slowly, pushes the stroller toward him. This goes on for a long 10 seconds.

Legend eventually gets tired of acting frightened and Cash never makes it there with the stroller. Tragedy averted.

Facial features

Kayla is snuggled on my lap. She points up to my face, jabbing her little clawed finger into each feature as she names them.

Kayla - "Eye"
Me - "Ouch, yes very good. That is my eye."
Kayla - "Nose"
Me - "Yes, good. Nose."
Kayla - "Ear"
Me - "Ouch, yes. Ear."
Kayla - "Mustache"
Me - "Ouch."

Spoon

We are sitting at the table eating lunch when we hear a very loud vehicle zoom by.

Cash cheers - "I hear a plane!"

Me - "I think that was a big truck..."

Cash - "Come back plane! Stop Plane! Come back, you need a spoon!" 

He holds his spoon in the air toward the window expectantly for a good 10 seconds before resuming eating his applesauce. 

Not sleeping

Legend is taking a really long time to fall asleep tonight.

I text to Cody - "Legend won't sleep. Ugh."
Cody- "Is he all riled up? Crying?"
Me - "Reading."

Every time I go in his room to tuck him back in, he is sitting on his couch looking at books. Like mother like son.

Little mama

The tots love to colour. Legend picks the blue felt every single time, Cash seems to like brown, and Kayla is very picky about her colours. She asks for a new one about every 30 seconds.

The other day, the tots were happily colouring and Legend got a little too vigorous, yelling at the top of his lungs and and scribbling all over as far as his arm could reach.

Kayla turns to Legend and commands, "Colour on paper Gedgey."
Legend calms right down and obeys her.
Kayla nods and says, "Good boy."

Guess my job is done.

Vrrmmm

Legend's favourite thing in the world is the Car. Car is one of his few words, and probably the one he says most often (No, Hi and Toes are close in the running).
Legend grabs one of his many match box cars, and says, "Car. Vrrrmmmm. Vrrrmmmm. Vrrmmmm." And with each vrrmm, he adds a pelvic thrust for punctuation. Yep, he is all boy.

Words

Cash - "Auntie, Ga Ga Ga."
Me - "Use your words, Chase."
Cash - "No words, Auntie. No words."

Daddy

Cash points across the little street to the townhouses identical to mine.
"Auntie Kate's house."
Me - "We are in Auntie's house."
Cash - "In Auntie's house."
Me - "This is Legend's house too."
Cash - "Legend's house?"
Me - "Yes, Legend's house. I am Legend's mommy." (Why do I complicate things?)
Cash - "Legend's mommy? ... I am Legend's daddy."
Me - "Uncle Cody is Legend's daddy."
Cash, very proud of himself for figuring it all out - "Legend is Uncle Cody's daddy."
Sure. Close enough. 

The Beginning

My life revolves around three silly, awesome, infuriating 2 year olds whom I call my three silly gooses.

There is Legend, my loud and unpredictable, brutish but sweet son who just turned 2. He is slow on learning words, great with puzzles, uniquely tall and strong, and only calls me Mommy under duress.

I am also blessed to care for two awesome kids while their respective parents are at work. I care for Kayla (we'll call her), an affectionate but demanding almost 2 little girl who has a very effective and very watery, practiced bawl-on-cue; and Cash who is a kind and sweet little 2 year old boy who gets a sneaky (and kind of adorable) smile when he pushes my buttons. They both call me Auntie Kate, to my delight.

These 3 peas keep me guessing and moving, acting as teacher, entertainer, snuggler, and often as referee. This blog is my way of sharing some of the awesome, cute, hilarious, and hilariously awful things these kids say and do.

I hope you enjoy their antics, I certainly do.